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Oh, come on. Revelation was a mushroom dream that belonged in the Apocrypha. The New Testament is basically about what happened when God got religion.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Basically
Happened
Religion
Mushroom
Dream
Mushrooms
Come
Belonged
Revelation
Testament
Revelations

More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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Privilege (to the privileged) means having private laws.
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His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.
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Too much magic could wrap time and space around itself, and that wasn't good news for the kind of person who had grown used to things like effects following things like causes.
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Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.
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It seems sensible to me that we should look to the medical profession, that over the centuries has helped us to live longer and healthier lives, to help us die peacefully among our loved ones in our own home without a long stay in God's waiting room.
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Raise the stakes! Always push your luck because no one else would push it for you.
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When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend.
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only to people!' shouted Rincewind. He drew his sword and, with a smooth overarm throw, completely failed to hit the troll.
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If anyone wants one my advise is to go where the orthodox Jews shop, because when it comes to a big black fedora, the guys with ringlets and long black coats definitely know a stylish hat when they see one. You want to get it home and use a hot steaming kettle, and bob's your uncle - you have a hat with all the right curves!
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I'm up to my neck in the real world, every day. Just you try doing your VAT return with a head full of goblins.
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There's a lot of science in it, and as Slartibartfast [in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] said: 'I am a great fan of science, but I cannot do a quadratic equation.' I've never, ever been able to do one. I remember one occasion at Warwick University, when Jack and Ian were at their wits' end because I couldn't get it. I felt totally ashamed.
Terry Pratchett
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Priests were metal-reinforced overshoes. They saved your soles. This is an Assassin joke.
Terry Pratchett
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Granny Weatherwax was not a good loser. From her point of view, losing was something that happened to other people.
Terry Pratchett
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Poetic simile was strictly limited to statements like 'his mighty steed was as fleet as the wind on a fairly calm day, say about Force Three,' and any loose talk about a beloved having a face that launched a thousand ships would have to be backed by evidence that the object of desire did indeed look like a bottle of champagne.
Terry Pratchett
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After a while, another voice said: One, two, three, four- And the universe came into being. It was wrong to call it a big bang. That would just be noise, and all that noise could create is more noise and a cosmos full of random particles. Matter exploded into being, apparently as chaos, but in fact as a chord. The ultimate power chord.
Terry Pratchett
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I think I would like to go into modelling. Of course, I don't know how to do it, and wouldn't be any good at it if I did, so I'm going to employ someone to walk the catwalks on my behalf. It would still be me, of course.
Terry Pratchett
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There was no himself in himself.
Terry Pratchett
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It was the living who ignored the strange and wonderful, because life was too full of the boring and mundane.
Terry Pratchett
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The diplomatic thing for me to say is that if publishers are dressing up other authors as Terry Pratchett clones then they are doing a disservice to those authors. If they didn't dress them as clones but did something different, then those authors could be pioneering in a different sense.
Terry Pratchett
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The librarians were mysterious. It was said they could tell what book you needed just by looking at you, and they could take your voice away with a word.
Terry Pratchett