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Oh, come on. Revelation was a mushroom dream that belonged in the Apocrypha. The New Testament is basically about what happened when God got religion.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Testament
Revelations
Basically
Happened
Religion
Mushroom
Dream
Mushrooms
Come
Belonged
Revelation

More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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You have so many sources to draw on when you're a fantasy writer.
Terry Pratchett
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So let's not get frightened when the children read fantasy. It's the compost for a healthy mind. It stimulate s the inquisitive nodes, and there is some evidence that a rich internal fantasy life is as good and necessary for a child as healthy soil is for a plant, for much the same reasons.
Terry Pratchett
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As large as worlds. As old as Time. As patient as a brick.
Terry Pratchett
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All I am really promoting in the books is the Golden Rule, which I hope everybody knows to be do as you would be done by. It has one or 2 flaws, but it is a good soundbite. Evil starts when you treat other people as things. There are perhaps worse crimes, but they begin when you treat other people as things.
Terry Pratchett
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It's hard to explain, said Brutha. But I think it's got something to do with how people should behave... you should do things because they're right. Not because gods say so. They might say something different another time.
Terry Pratchett
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Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful.
Terry Pratchett
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Correct observation followed by meticulous deduction and the precise visualization of goals is vital to the success of any enterprise.
Terry Pratchett
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Vimes struggled to his feet, shook his head and set off after it. No thought was involved. It is the ancient instinct of terriers and policemen to chase anything that runs away.
Terry Pratchett
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If you really want to upset a witch, do her a favor which she has no means of repaying. The unfulfilled obligation will nag at her like a hangnail.
Terry Pratchett
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It's a sword. said the Hogfather. They're not meant to be safe.
Terry Pratchett
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You have reached the end of cake
Terry Pratchett
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I do not in fact use many puns. Certainly there are far fewer than people believe. But I suspect the ones I do occasionally use tend to hang around in people's memories for a while.
Terry Pratchett
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Humanity's a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there.
Terry Pratchett
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Child. That was a terrible thing to say to anyone who was almost thirteen.
Terry Pratchett
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He moved in a way that suggested he was attempting the world speed record for the nonchalant walk.
Terry Pratchett
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At such times the universe gets a little closer to us. They are strange times, times of beginnings and endings. Dangerous and powerful. And we feel it even if we don't know what it is. These times are not necessarily good, and not necessarily bad. In fact, what they are depends on what *we* are.
Terry Pratchett
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(About sweeping).... What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends.
Terry Pratchett
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Ye know full well that the meaning of life is to find your gift. To find your gift is happiness. Never tae find it is misery.
Terry Pratchett
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I dinna trust him, said Slightly Mad Angus. He reads books an' such.
Terry Pratchett
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I wish that the people who sing about the deeds of heroes would think about the people who have to clear up after them.
Terry Pratchett