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Oh, come on. Revelation was a mushroom dream that belonged in the Apocrypha. The New Testament is basically about what happened when God got religion.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Revelation
Testament
Revelations
Basically
Happened
Religion
Mushroom
Dream
Mushrooms
Come
Belonged

More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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Real children do not go hoppity skip unless they are on drugs.
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Granny sighed. You have learned something, she said, and thought it safe to insert a touch of sternness into her voice. They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.
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People are content to wait a long time for salvation, but prefer dinner to turn up inside an hour.
Terry Pratchett
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I never said nothing... I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You've got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn't dead!
Terry Pratchett
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At such times the universe gets a little closer to us. They are strange times, times of beginnings and endings. Dangerous and powerful. And we feel it even if we don't know what it is. These times are not necessarily good, and not necessarily bad. In fact, what they are depends on what *we* are.
Terry Pratchett
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… you were so worried about legal and illegal that you never stopped to think about whether it was right or wrong.
Terry Pratchett
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He talks pretty big for a gutter wizard, he muttered. You don't understand at all, said the wizard wearily. I'm so scared of you my spine has turned to jelly, it's just that I'm suffering from an overdose of terror right now. I mean, when I've got over that then I'll have time to be decently frightened of you.
Terry Pratchett
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Ninety percent of true love is acute, ear-burning embarrassment.
Terry Pratchett
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Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
Terry Pratchett
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Mister Teatime had a truly brilliant mind, but it was brilliant like a fractured mirror, all marvellous facets and rainbows but, ultimately, also something that was broken.
Terry Pratchett
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I thought unicorns were more . . . Fluffy.
Terry Pratchett
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A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.
Terry Pratchett
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Preston, I don't think this creature could ever find its way into your head. Quite apart from anything else, it seems pretty crowded and complicated to me.
Terry Pratchett
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One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.
Terry Pratchett
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Are you a devious, plotting, unreliable madman? Ah, good, then you can be my most trusted advisor.
Terry Pratchett
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When a man is tired of Ankh-Morpork, he is tired of ankle-deep slurry.
Terry Pratchett
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What's a philosopher?' said Brutha. Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head.
Terry Pratchett
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After you've been working fairly intensively on a novel for six months you never want to see the damn thing again.
Terry Pratchett
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My character - and for that matter my worst habits - could only be described by someone else. You can't open a box with the crowbar inside it.
Terry Pratchett
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We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.
Terry Pratchett