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Ninety percent of true love is acute, ear-burning embarrassment.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Percent
True
Love
Acute
Embarrassment
Ninety
Burning
Ears

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All property is theft, except mine.
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Many an ancient lord's last words have been, 'You can't kill me because I've got magic aaargh.'
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I once absent-mindedly ordered Three Mile Island dressing in a restaurant and, with great presence of mind, they brought Thousand Island Dressing and a bottle of chili sauce.
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The only thing more dangerous then a vampire crazed with blood lust was a vampire crazed with anything else. All the meticulous single-mindedness that went into finding young women who slept with their bedroom window open got channeled into some other interest, with merciless and painstaking efficiency.
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You had to deal every day with people who were foolish and lazy and untruthful and downright unpleasant, and you could certainly end up thinking that the world would be considerably improved if you gave them a slap.
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It must be hard for humans, forever floundering through inconvenient geography. Humans are always lost. It's a basic characteristic. It explains a lot about them.
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Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft. When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big.
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Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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Books must be treated with respect, we feel that in our bones, because words have power. Bring enough words together they can bend space and time.
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I don't think a baker reads an awful lot about bread.
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Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful.
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I reckon that Stonehege was build by the contemporary equivalent of Microsoft, whereas Avebury was definitely an Apple circle.
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Imagination, not intelligence, made us human.
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There are some people who hate my guts. But that goes with the territory.
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Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
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Neither of my parents went to church, but they did everything that you needed to do to be Christian. That's something a Quaker would call an intimation of the divine.
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He'd heard that writers spent all day in their dressing gowns drinking champagne. This is, of course, absolutely true.
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The most important thing was that time had passed, pouring thousands of soothing seconds across the island. People need time to deal with the now before it runs away and becomes the then.
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Someone out there was about to find that their worst nightmare was a maddened Librarian. With a badge.
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Bringing about Armageddon can be dangerous. Do not attempt it in your own home.
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