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Ninety percent of true love is acute, ear-burning embarrassment.
Terry Pratchett
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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
True
Love
Acute
Embarrassment
Ninety
Burning
Ears
Percent
More quotes by Terry Pratchett
Monsters are getting more uppity, too (...) I heard where this guy, he killed this monster in this lake, no problem, stuck its arm up over the door (...) and you know what? Its mum come and complained. Its actual mum come right down to the hall next day and complained. Actually complained. That's the respect you get.
Terry Pratchett
Our garden was debated territory between five local cats, and we'd heard that the best way to keep other cats out of the garden was to have one yourself. A moment's rational thought here will spot the slight flaw in this reasoning.
Terry Pratchett
They were also slightly less intelligent than he was. This is a quality you should always pray for in your would-be murderer.
Terry Pratchett
Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft. When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big.
Terry Pratchett
People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.
Terry Pratchett
I know loads of coppers and dealt with them a lot when I was a journalist - coppers are easy to write for they tend to run on rails.
Terry Pratchett
The conversation of human beings seldom interested him, but it crossed his mind that the males and females always got along best when neither actually listened fully to what the other one was saying.
Terry Pratchett
If you have let pride get the better of you, then you have already lost, but if you grab pride by the scruff of the neck and ride it like a stallion, then you may have already won.
Terry Pratchett
If there's one thing that really annoys a god, it's not knowing something.
Terry Pratchett
Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended.
Terry Pratchett
Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man he had the Vote.
Terry Pratchett
That, lad, he said proudly, was some of the worst poetry I have heard for a long time. It was offensive to the ear and a torrrture to the soul....We'll make a gonnagle out of ye yet!
Terry Pratchett
Time was something that largely happened to other people he viewed it in the same way that people on the shore viewed the sea. It was big and it was out there, and sometimes it was an invigorating thing to dip a toe into, but you couldn't live in it all the time. Besides, it always made his skin wrinkle.
Terry Pratchett
They say that the prospect of being hanged in the morning concentrates a man's mind wonderfully unfortunately, what the mind inevitably concentrates on is that, in the morning, it will be in a body that is going to be hanged.
Terry Pratchett
It is always useful to face an enemy who is prepared to die for his country, he read. This means that both you and he have exactly the same aim in mind.
Terry Pratchett
Rings try to find their way back to their owner. Someone ought to write a book about it.
Terry Pratchett
You call yourself some kind of goddess and you know nothing, madam, nothing. What don't die can't live. What don't live can't change. What don't change can't learn. The smallest creature that dies in the grass knows more than you.
Terry Pratchett
I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did.
Terry Pratchett
Well, it would have to be “The Man Who Was Thursday.” It’s a damn good read that I believe should be read by everyone in politics.
Terry Pratchett
The Auditors fluttered anxiously. And, as always happens in their species when something goes radically wrong and needs fixing instantly, they settled down to try to work how who was to blame.
Terry Pratchett