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Every procedure for getting a cat to take a pill works fine - once. Like the Borg, they learn.
Terry Pratchett
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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Every
Procedures
Like
Pills
Cat
Works
Fine
Getting
Borg
Learn
Procedure
Take
Pill
More quotes by Terry Pratchett
And then you bit onto them, and learned once again that Cut-me-own-Throat Dibbler could find a use for bits of an animal that the animal didn't know it had got. Dibbler had worked out that with enough fried onions and mustard people would eat anything.
Terry Pratchett
The most prudent thing any intelligent animal can do, if it would prefer its descendents not to spend a lot of time on a slab with electrodes clamped to their brains or sticking mines on the bottom of ships, or being patronised by zoologists, is to make bloody certain humans don't find out about it.
Terry Pratchett
I don't think a baker reads an awful lot about bread.
Terry Pratchett
DO I DETECT A NOTE OF UNSEASONAL GRUMPINESS? said Death. NO SUGAR PIGGYWIGGY FOR YOU, ALBERT.
Terry Pratchett
She wore so much thick white makeup in order to conceal her naturally rosy complexion that if she turned around suddenly her face would probably end up on the back of her head.
Terry Pratchett
If my father could have sat up in bed and said goodbye, I'd have pressed the button. I wouldn't have been able to see for crying, but I would have considered that a duty.
Terry Pratchett
Carpe Jugulum, read Agnes aloud. That's... well, Carpe Diem is 'Sieze the Day,' so this means- Go for the throat
Terry Pratchett
Aziraphale. The Enemy, of course. But an enemy for six thousand years now, which made him a sort of friend.
Terry Pratchett
Just call in at the torturer on your way out. See when he can fit you in.
Terry Pratchett
It was like being in a Jane Austen novel, but one with far less clothing.
Terry Pratchett
I can see we're going to get along like a house on fire, said Miss Tick. There may be no survivors.
Terry Pratchett
One person is nothing. Two people are a nation.
Terry Pratchett
If you kept changing the way people saw the world, you ended up changing the way you saw yourself.
Terry Pratchett
If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life.
Terry Pratchett
Some of them wanted to sell me snake oil and I'm not necessarily going to dismiss all of these, as I have never found a rusty snake.
Terry Pratchett
You were the kind of kid who couldn't see the difference between throwing rocks at a cat and setting it on fire.
Terry Pratchett
Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.
Terry Pratchett
Consider the situation. There you are, forehead like a set of balconies, worrying about the long-term effects of all this new 'fire' stuff on the environment, you're being chased and eaten by most of the planet's large animals, and suddenly tiny versions of one of the worst of them wanders into the cave and starts to purr.
Terry Pratchett
Money is an unavoidable consequence, but it isn't the reason I write if it was, I wouldn't have written any of the YA books, because advances in that field are small compared to what I'd got now for an 'adult' DW.
Terry Pratchett
I would like you to teach [the orcs] civilised behaviour, said Ladyship coldly. He appeared to consider this. Yes of course, I think that would be quite possible, he said. And who would you send to teach the humans?
Terry Pratchett