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Probably the last sound heard before the Universe folded up like a paper hat would be someone saying, What happens if I do this?
Terry Pratchett
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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
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Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
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More quotes by Terry Pratchett
You can't inspire people with facts. They need a cause. They need a symbol.
Terry Pratchett
First draft: let it run. Turn all the knobs up to 11. Second draft: hell. Cut it down and cut it into shape. Third draft: comb its nose and blow its hair. I usually find that most of the book will have handed itself to me on that first draft.
Terry Pratchett
NAUGHTY AND NICE? said Death. BUT IT'S EASY TO BE NICE IF YOU'RE RICH. IS THIS FAIR? Albert wanted to argue. He wanted to say, Really? In that case, how come so many of the rich buggers is bastards? And being poor don't mean being naughty, neither.
Terry Pratchett
Incidentally, it's best not to argue with the nursing staff. I find the best course of action is to throw some chocolates in one direction and hurry off in the other while their attention is distracted.
Terry Pratchett
Fantasy is uni-age. You can start it in the creche, and it follows you to death.
Terry Pratchett
The Kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance.
Terry Pratchett
Ninety percent of most magic merely consists of knowing one extra fact.
Terry Pratchett
Go anywhere you wish, talk to everyone. Ask any questions you will be given answers. When you want to learn, you will be taught. Use the library. Open any book.
Terry Pratchett
And never resist a perfect moment.
Terry Pratchett
He's probably their battle poet, too. You mean he makes up heroic songs about famous battles? No, no. He recites poems that frighten the enemy....When a well-trained gonnagle starts to recite, the enemy's ears explode.
Terry Pratchett
Lots of people would be as cowardly as me if they were brave enough.
Terry Pratchett
As far as I'm concerned, I'm a writer who's writing books, and therefore, I don't want to die. You'd miss the end of the book, wouldn't you? You can't die with an unfinished book.
Terry Pratchett
But you ain't part of it, are you? said Granny conversationally. You try, but you always find yourself watchin' yourself watchin' people, eh? Never quite believin' anything? Thinkin' the wrong thoughts?
Terry Pratchett
I’m a witch. It’s what we do. When it’s nobody else’s business, it’s my business.
Terry Pratchett
The fastest way to travel is to be there already.
Terry Pratchett
If you try to to take my bananas from me, I will reclaim them from your cold dead hands.
Terry Pratchett
It's never a good idea to ask a man on a tight-rope how he keeps his balance: a) he would probably fall off and b) he probably doesn't know what the muscles are called in any case.
Terry Pratchett
I must have read every issue of 'Punch' published in the 20th century, and I think in the process I picked up the true voice of English humour - that amiable, fairly liberal, laconic voice which you find in something like 'Three Men in a Boat.'
Terry Pratchett
It's hard to explain, said Brutha. But I think it's got something to do with how people should behave... you should do things because they're right. Not because gods say so. They might say something different another time.
Terry Pratchett
I must confess the activities of the UK governments for the past couple of years have been watched with frank admiration and amazement by Lord Vetinari. Outright theft as a policy had never occurred to him.
Terry Pratchett