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Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Race
Human
Humans
Disqualified
Corporal
Shoving

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Just call in at the torturer on your way out. See when he can fit you in.
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There have been times, lately, when I dearly wished that I could change the past. Well, I can’t, but I can change the present, so that when it becomes the past it will turn out to be a past worth having.
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One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.
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Words are the litmus paper of the mind.
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First draft: let it run. Turn all the knobs up to 11. Second draft: hell. Cut it down and cut it into shape. Third draft: comb its nose and blow its hair. I usually find that most of the book will have handed itself to me on that first draft.
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The characters are the plot. What they do and say and the things that happen to them are, in a sense, what the plot is. You can't take character and plot apart from each other, really.
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There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.
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They obeyed, as wise men do when a woman puts her foot down . . .
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You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.
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Don't do anything I wouldn't do, if you ever find anything I wouldn't do.
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People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.
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You can't second-guess ineffability, I always say.
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He'd heard that writers spent all day in their dressing gowns drinking champagne. This is, of course, absolutely true.
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Ach, people are always telling us not to do things said Rob Anybody, that's how we ken the most interesting things to do.
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Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy farming. The task is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum amount of moo.
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Good or bad, do it as you. Too many lies and there's no truth to go back to.
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The short conversation that follows eventually led to a tree religion. Its tenet of faith was this: a tree that was a good tree and led a clean decent and upstanding life could be assured of a future life after death. If it was very good indeed it would eventually be reincarnated as five thousand rolls of lavatory paper.
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Insanity is catching.
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Of course, just because we've heard a spine-chilling, blood-curdling scream of the sort to make your very marrow freeze in your bones doesn't automatically mean there's anything wrong.
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I was once a journalist. And I think of myself as a journalist, and that's it. You tell the truth. I even wrote a book called 'The Truth'.
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