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You've got a lot of time for abstract thought when you've got your hand stuck up a dead badger.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Badgers
Abstract
Stuck
Dead
Hand
Hands
Thought
Time
Badger

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For an author, the nice characters aren't much fun. What you want are the screwed up characters. You know, the characters that are constantly wondering if what they are doing is the right thing, characters that are not only screwed up but are self-tapping screws. They're doing it for themselves.
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Natural selection saw to it that professional heroes who at a crucial moment tended to ask themselves questions like 'What is my purpose in life?' very quickly lacked both.
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...it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.
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It's a sword. said the Hogfather. They're not meant to be safe.
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Demons were like genies or philosophy professors - if you didn't word things exactly right, they delighted in giving you absolutely accurate and completely misleading answers.
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It's not morbid to talk about death. Most people don't worry about death, they worry about a bad death.
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Quit while you're a head, that's what I say.
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The point is that descriptive writing is very rarely entirely accurate and during the reign of Olaf Quimby II as Patrician of Ankh-Morpork some legislation was passed in a determined attempt to ?put a stop to this sort of thing and introduce some honest.
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Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.
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Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.
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Some people are heroes. And some people jot down notes.
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Vimes's lack of interest in other people's children was limitless.
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One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.
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It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive you could get death for free.
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Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be a Mule?'
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Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?
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Go anywhere you wish, talk to everyone. Ask any questions you will be given answers. When you want to learn, you will be taught. Use the library. Open any book.
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I can't stand any music that requires its singers to be so dumb they wear their baseball caps backwards.
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One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.
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The thing with crowns is, it isn't the putting them on that's the problem, it's the taking them off.
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