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My dream holiday would be a) a ticket to Amsterdam b) immunity from prosecution and c) a baseball bat.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Immunity
Ticket
Bats
Tickets
Holiday
Baseball
Dream
Amsterdam
Would
Prosecution

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- DON’T WORRY, IT WON’T BE FOREVER. - Good. - IT MAY SEEM LIKE FOREVER.
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All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums.
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Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft. When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big.
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I dare say that quite a few people have contemplated death for reasons that much later seemed to them to be quite minor.
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Mr Lipwig, there's a lady in the hall to see you and we've thanked her for not smoking three times and she's still doing it!
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I'm referred to, I see, as 'the biggest banker in modern publishing'. Now there's a line that needed the celebrated Guardian proof-reading.
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-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.
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Nigel gave the lamp a cautious buff and small smoking red letters appeared in the air. Hi, Nigel read aloud, Do not put down the lamp because your custom is important to us. Please leave a wish after the tone and, very shortly, it will be our command. In the meantime, have a nice eternity.
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NAUGHTY AND NICE? said Death. BUT IT'S EASY TO BE NICE IF YOU'RE RICH. IS THIS FAIR? Albert wanted to argue. He wanted to say, Really? In that case, how come so many of the rich buggers is bastards? And being poor don't mean being naughty, neither.
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And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.
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It's hard to explain, said Brutha. But I think it's got something to do with how people should behave... you should do things because they're right. Not because gods say so. They might say something different another time.
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All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed.
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And we don't often get any wading birds in the River Ankh, mainly because the pollution would eat their legs away and anyway, it's easier for them to walk on the surface.
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I intend, before the endgame looms, to die sitting in a chair in my own garden with a glass of brandy in my hand and Thomas Tallis on the iPod. Oh, and since this is England, I had better add, If wet, in the library. Who could say that this is bad?
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The point of page one is to make people turn to page two and if at the end of the book people think that the book was good value for money, you have achieved something, because if you haven't achieved those things you're not going to achieve the other thing.
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Even if it's not your fault, it's your responsibility.
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It's always surprising to be reminded that while you're watching and thinking about people, all knowing and superior, they're watching and thinking about you, right back at you.
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There is no doubt that being human is incredibly difficult and cannot be mastered in one lifetime.
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