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The most prudent thing any intelligent animal can do, if it would prefer its descendents not to spend a lot of time on a slab with electrodes clamped to their brains or sticking mines on the bottom of ships, or being patronised by zoologists, is to make bloody certain humans don't find out about it.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Funny
Ships
Clamped
Certain
Prefer
Zoologist
Find
Bottom
Slab
Humans
Mines
Slabs
Thing
Intelligent
Sticking
Make
Spend
Prudent
Would
Animal
Brains
Time
Brain
Bloody
Zoologists

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You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.
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At least I know I'm bewildered about the really fundamental and important facts of the universe.
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All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums.
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I'm trying to have a moment o' existential dreed here, right? Crivens, it's a puir lookout if a man canna feel the chilly winds o' fate lashing aroound his netheres wi'out folks telling him he's deid, eh?
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No one knew where you were before you were born, but when you were born, it wasn't long before you found you'd arrived with your return ticket already punched.
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One person is nothing. Two people are a nation.
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There are many horrible sights in the multiverse. Somehow, though, to a soul attuned to the subtle rhythms of a library, there are few worse sights than a hole where a book ought to be.
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'Discworld' is taking something that you know is ridiculous and treating it as if it is serious, to see if something interesting happens when you do so.
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You did something because it had always been done, and the explanation was, ‘But we’ve always done it this way.’ A million dead people can’t have been wrong, can they?
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Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.
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Never trust any complicated cocktail that remains perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in, and then immediately clouds.
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Occasionally he would very nearly swear.
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You see the lighted windows and what you want to think is that there may be many interesting stories behind them, but what you know is that really there are just dull, dull souls, mere consumers of food, who think their instincts are emotions and their tiny lives of more account than a whisper of wind.
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It was so loud and so deep, it wasn't really sound at all, just something that turned the air hard and then hit you with it.
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The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind.
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And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.
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I reckon that Stonehege was build by the contemporary equivalent of Microsoft, whereas Avebury was definitely an Apple circle.
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Cats don't hunt seals. They would if they knew what they were and where to find them. But they don't, so that's all right.
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I'm a fantasy writer, called a fantasy writer. But there's very little, apart from one or two basic concepts in 'I Shall Wear Midnight,' which are in fact fantasy. You have sticks that fly, but they're practical broomsticks, with a bloody great strap that you can hold on to so you don't fall off. And you try not to use them too often.
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I'm not the world's greatest expert, but I would have thought that the wizards, witches, trolls, unicorns, ... broomsticks and spells would have given her a clue?' - when J.K. Rowling insisted she wasn't writing fantasy.
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