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Given enough coffee I could rule the world

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
World
Caffeine
Coffee
Rule
Given
Enough

More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.
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Previous generations understood about death, and undoubtedly would have seen a reasonable amount of death. Once you get into the Victorian era, you might well have seen the funerals of many of your siblings before you were very old.
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She'd stopped reading the kind of women's magazine that talked about romance and knitting and started reading the kind of women's magazine that talked about orgasms, but apart from making a mental note to have one if ever the occasion presented itsel
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She'd become a governess. It was one of the few jobs a known lady could do. And she'd taken to it well. She'd sworn that if she did indeed ever find herself dancing on rooftops with chimney sweeps she'd beat herself to death with her own umbrella.
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Ach, people are always telling us not to do things said Rob Anybody, that's how we ken the most interesting things to do.
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When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man I put away childish things because. wow, then I could afford much *better* childish things!
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They were also slightly less intelligent than he was. This is a quality you should always pray for in your would-be murderer.
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The universe clearly operates for the benefit of humanity. This can be readily seen from the convenient way the sun comes up in the morning, when people are ready to start the day.
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DO I DETECT A NOTE OF UNSEASONAL GRUMPINESS? said Death. NO SUGAR PIGGYWIGGY FOR YOU, ALBERT.
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No, I happen to be one of those people whose memory shuts down under pressure. The answers would come to me in the middle of the night in my sleep! Besides, I am a millionaire.
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It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive you could get death for free.
Terry Pratchett
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This is a lovely party, said the Bursar to a chair, I wish I was here.
Terry Pratchett
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Most of my schooldays were the worst day of my life.
Terry Pratchett
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I'm glad a genre writer has got a knighthood, but stunned that it was me.
Terry Pratchett
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Apes had it worked out. No ape would philosophize, The mountain is, and is not. They would think, The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana.
Terry Pratchett
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There isn't a way things should be. There's just what happens, and what we do.
Terry Pratchett
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No matter what she did with her hair it took about three minutes for it to tangle itself up again, like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Which, no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles].
Terry Pratchett
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Bill Door was impressed. Miss Flitworth could actually give the word revenue, which had two vowels and one diphthong, all the peremptoriness of the word scum.
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I know it's a very human thing to say 'Is there anything I can do', but in this case I would only entertain offers from very high-end experts in brain chemistry.
Terry Pratchett
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Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad.
Terry Pratchett