Quote

Nigel gave the lamp a cautious buff and small smoking red letters appeared in the air. Hi, Nigel read aloud, Do not put down the lamp because your custom is important to us. Please leave a wish after the tone and, very shortly, it will be our command. In the meantime, have a nice eternity.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Important
Air
Appeared
Buff
Gave
Customs
Meantime
Please
Smoking
Shortly
Leave
Tone
Aloud
Small
Command
Lamp
Nice
Red
Custom
Read
Letters
Lamps
Wish
Eternity
Cautious
Nigel

More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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Now he knew: They were real. Who’d make up a thing like this? Okay, one of them was a cheese that rolled around of its own accord, but nobody was perfect.
Terry Pratchett
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Bill Door was impressed. Miss Flitworth could actually give the word revenue, which had two vowels and one diphthong, all the peremptoriness of the word scum.
Terry Pratchett
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Priests were metal-reinforced overshoes. They saved your soles. This is an Assassin joke.
Terry Pratchett
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No, I happen to be one of those people whose memory shuts down under pressure. The answers would come to me in the middle of the night in my sleep! Besides, I am a millionaire.
Terry Pratchett
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Granny sighed. You have learned something, she said, and thought it safe to insert a touch of sternness into her voice. They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.
Terry Pratchett
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It was raining in the small, mountainous country of Llamedos. It was always raining in Llamedos. Rain was the country's main export. It had rain mines.
Terry Pratchett
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Everyone's heard of Erwin Schrodinger's famous thought experiment. You put a cat in a box with a bottle of poison, which many people would suggest is about as far as you need to go.
Terry Pratchett
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The ideal death, I think, is what was the ideal Victorian death, you know, with your grandchildren around you, a bit of sobbing. And you say goodbye to your loved ones, making certain that one of them has been left behind to look after the shop.
Terry Pratchett
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And it came to pass that in time the Great God Om spake unto Brutha, the Chosen One: Psst!
Terry Pratchett
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The short conversation that follows eventually led to a tree religion. Its tenet of faith was this: a tree that was a good tree and led a clean decent and upstanding life could be assured of a future life after death. If it was very good indeed it would eventually be reincarnated as five thousand rolls of lavatory paper.
Terry Pratchett
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Generally I start writing when I have even the smallest idea of how a book is going to go, because the physical process of writing itself keeps the mind active and focused on the job at hand. Usually I write in about 5 drafts, but that simply means there are 5 definite times when I go in a linear fashion from the beginning to the end of the book.
Terry Pratchett
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A lot hinges on the fact that, in most circumstances, people are not allowed to hit you with a mallet. They put up all kinds of visible and invisible signs that say, 'Do not do this' in the hope that it'll work, but if it doesn't, then they shrug, because there is, really, no real mallet at all.
Terry Pratchett
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My idea of a good novel was one you made enough money out of to buy a greenhouse.
Terry Pratchett
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The elevator shaft was a kind of heat sink. Hot food was cold by the time it arrived. Cold food got colder. No one knew what would happen to ice cream, but it would probably involve some rewriting of the laws of thermodynamics.
Terry Pratchett
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Take it from me, whenever you see a bunch of buggers puttering around talking about truth and beauty and the best way of attacking Ethics, you can bet your sandals it's all because dozens of other poor buggers are doing all the real work around the place.
Terry Pratchett
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Incidentally, it's best not to argue with the nursing staff. I find the best course of action is to throw some chocolates in one direction and hurry off in the other while their attention is distracted.
Terry Pratchett
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Death: Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.
Terry Pratchett
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First Sight means you can see what really is there, and Second Thoughts mean thinking about what you are thinking. And in Tiffany's case, there were sometimes Third Thoughts and Fourth Thoughts although these...sometimes led her to walk into doors.
Terry Pratchett
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I reckon that Stonehege was build by the contemporary equivalent of Microsoft, whereas Avebury was definitely an Apple circle.
Terry Pratchett
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They felt, in fact, tremendously bucked-up, which was how Lady Ramkin would almost certainly have put it and which was definitely several letters of the alphabet away from how they normally felt.
Terry Pratchett