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Cats don't hunt seals. They would if they knew what they were and where to find them. But they don't, so that's all right.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Cats
Cat
Knew
Find
Right
Would
Seals
Hunt
Hunts

More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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I read the 'Old Testament' all the way through when I was about 13 and was horrified. A few months afterwards I read 'The Origin Of Species', hallucinating very mildly because I was in bed with flu at the time. Despite that, or because of that, it all made perfect sense.
Terry Pratchett
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My own books drive themselves. I know roughly where a book is going to end, but essentially the story develops under my fingers. It's just a matter of joining the dots.
Terry Pratchett
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You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know that when a lot of frightened people are running around with edged weaponry, there are deaths. Stupid deaths, usually. I'm not writing 'The A-Team' - if there's a fight going on, people will get hurt. Not letting this happen would be a betrayal.
Terry Pratchett
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Nothing I can say or devise, and nothing anybody else can say or devise, is going to be perfect.
Terry Pratchett
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Ach, people are always telling us not to do things said Rob Anybody, that's how we ken the most interesting things to do.
Terry Pratchett
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The most prudent thing any intelligent animal can do, if it would prefer its descendents not to spend a lot of time on a slab with electrodes clamped to their brains or sticking mines on the bottom of ships, or being patronised by zoologists, is to make bloody certain humans don't find out about it.
Terry Pratchett
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They always gives me bath salts, complained Nobby. And bath soap and bubble bath and herbal bath lumps and tons of bath stuff and I can't think why, 'cos it's not as if I hardly ever has a bath. You'd think they'd take the hint, wouldn't you?
Terry Pratchett
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You can think and you can fight, but the world's always movin', and if you wanna stay ahead you gotta dance.
Terry Pratchett
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Cats gravitate to kitchens like rocks gravitate to gravity.
Terry Pratchett
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Don't you understand? snarled Rincewind. We are going over the Edge, godsdammit! Can't we do anything about it? No! Then I can't see the sense in panicking, said Twoflower calmly.
Terry Pratchett
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The conversation of human beings seldom interested him, but it crossed his mind that the males and females always got along best when neither actually listened fully to what the other one was saying.
Terry Pratchett
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Death strode away, stopped, and came back. He pointed a skeletal finger at The Duck Man. WHY, he said, ARE YOU WALKING AROUND WITH THAT DUCK? What duck? AH. SORRY.
Terry Pratchett
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Aziraphale. The Enemy, of course. But an enemy for six thousand years now, which made him a sort of friend.
Terry Pratchett
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I'm a fantasy writer, called a fantasy writer. But there's very little, apart from one or two basic concepts in 'I Shall Wear Midnight,' which are in fact fantasy. You have sticks that fly, but they're practical broomsticks, with a bloody great strap that you can hold on to so you don't fall off. And you try not to use them too often.
Terry Pratchett
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There are millions of chords. There are millions of numbers. And everyone forgets the one that is a zero. But without the zero, numbers are just arithmetic. Without the empty chord, music is just noise.
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Demons were like genies or philosophy professors - if you didn't word things exactly right, they delighted in giving you absolutely accurate and completely misleading answers.
Terry Pratchett
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She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you.
Terry Pratchett
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Now he knew: They were real. Who’d make up a thing like this? Okay, one of them was a cheese that rolled around of its own accord, but nobody was perfect.
Terry Pratchett
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How do you get all those coins? asked Mort. IN PAIRS.
Terry Pratchett
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Death was standing behind a lectern, poring over a map. He looked at Mort as if he wasn’t entirely there. You haven't heard of the bayof mante, have you? He said. “No, sir,” said Mort. Famous shipwreck there. “Was there?” there will be, said Death, if I can find the damn place.
Terry Pratchett