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After all, when you seek advice from someone it's certainly not because you want them to give it. You just want them to be there while you talk to yourself.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Giving
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Talk
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My idea of a good novel was one you made enough money out of to buy a greenhouse.
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This looks like a job for inadvisably applied magic if ever I saw one.
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...'I thought the rule was that all monks were shaved.' 'Oh, Soto says he is bald under the hair,'said Lu Tze. 'He says the hair is a separate creature that just happens to live on him.
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I must confess the activities of the UK governments for the past couple of years have been watched with frank admiration and amazement by Lord Vetinari. Outright theft as a policy had never occurred to him.
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Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...
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A bad hunter chases. A good hunter waits.
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This wasn't food - it was what food became if it had been good and gone to food heaven.
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But you ain't part of it, are you? said Granny conversationally. You try, but you always find yourself watchin' yourself watchin' people, eh? Never quite believin' anything? Thinkin' the wrong thoughts?
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This is where the gods play games with the lives of men, on a board which is at one and the same time a simple playing area and the whole world. And Fate always wins.
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I once absent-mindedly ordered Three Mile Island dressing in a restaurant and, with great presence of mind, they brought Thousand Island Dressing and a bottle of chili sauce.
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Where's the pleasure in bein' the winner if the loser ain't alive to know they've lost?
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Creatures which, lacking mankind's superior brain power, did not concern themselves with finding someone to blame, and instead tried to find someone to eat.
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I found while driving in Wyoming that wearing a stetson and driving a beat-up pickup meant you could go as fast as you like, while the police picked up Californian winnebagos that went one mph over 55. After all, they wanted to bring money into the state, not merely circulate it.
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Just because things are obvious doesn't mean they're true.
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Rincewind tried to force the memory out of his mind, but it was rather enjoying itself there, terrorizing the other occupants and kicking over the furniture.
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I would like you to teach [the orcs] civilised behaviour, said Ladyship coldly. He appeared to consider this. Yes of course, I think that would be quite possible, he said. And who would you send to teach the humans?
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Oh. I see. People don't want to see what can't possibly exist.
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In defiance of Miss Maccalariat I'd like to commit hanky-panky with you, Miss Adora Belle Dearheart... well, certainly hanky, and possibly panky when we get to know one another better.
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Well, it would have to be “The Man Who Was Thursday.” It’s a damn good read that I believe should be read by everyone in politics.
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Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be a Mule?'
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