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You had to deal every day with people who were foolish and lazy and untruthful and downright unpleasant, and you could certainly end up thinking that the world would be considerably improved if you gave them a slap.
Terry Pratchett
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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Deal
Considerably
Deals
Slap
Ends
Unpleasant
Every
Improved
Would
Lazy
Thinking
Foolish
World
Gave
Untruthful
People
Certainly
Downright
More quotes by Terry Pratchett
There was a man and he had eight sons. Apart from that, he was nothing more than a comma on the page of History. It's sad, but that's all you can say about some people.
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The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valley in the lower Ramtops, have a passing-out test for a novice. He is taken into a room full of all types of clothing and asked: Yo, my son, which of these is the most stylish thing to wear? And the correct answer is: Hey, whatever I select.
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It seems sensible to me that we should look to the medical profession, that over the centuries has helped us to live longer and healthier lives, to help us die peacefully among our loved ones in our own home without a long stay in God's waiting room.
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Multiple exclamation marks, he went on, shaking his head, are a sure sign of a diseased mind.
Terry Pratchett
No one knew where you were before you were born, but when you were born, it wasn't long before you found you'd arrived with your return ticket already punched.
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Most armies are in fact run by their sergeants - the officers are there just to give things a bit of tone and prevent warfare becoming a mere lower-class brawl.
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I saved a man's life once, said Granny. Special medicine, twice a day. Boiled water with a bit of berry juice in it. Told him I'd bought it from the dwarves. That's the biggest part of doct'rin, really. Most people'll get over most things if they put their minds to it, you just have to give them an interest.
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But that was just it - hate was exactly the right word. Hate is a force of attraction. Hate is just love with its back turned.
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My own books drive themselves. I know roughly where a book is going to end, but essentially the story develops under my fingers. It's just a matter of joining the dots.
Terry Pratchett
So, mistletoe, in fact, symbolizes mistletoe.
Terry Pratchett
There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.
Terry Pratchett
You've got a lot of time for abstract thought when you've got your hand stuck up a dead badger.
Terry Pratchett
The trouble with thinking was that, once you started, you went on doing it.
Terry Pratchett
A Duke couldn't have the arse hanging out of his trousers when meeting foreign diplomats. Actually even plain old Sam Vimes never had the arse hanging out of his trousers, either, but no one would have actually started a war if he had.
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I dinna trust him, said Slightly Mad Angus. He reads books an' such.
Terry Pratchett
Bringing about Armageddon can be dangerous. Do not attempt it in your own home.
Terry Pratchett
The point is that if a book that had been published three years ago started to sell twice as many all of a sudden it probably wouldn't even get noticed. People wouldn't be tracking it. The system has cleaned up its act an awful lot but the best-seller list system is not an entirely foolproof thing.
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OH, THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING IN THE STOCKING THAT MAKES A NOISE, said Death. OTHERWISE, WHAT IS 4:30 A.M. FOR?
Terry Pratchett
And gears, said Anathema. My bike didn't have gears. I'm sure my bike didn't have gears. Crowley leaned over to the angel. Oh lord, heal this bike, he whispered sarcastically. I'm sorry, I just got carried away, hissed Aziraphale.
Terry Pratchett
Progress just means bad things happen faster.
Terry Pratchett