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I'm not cruel, sir, I won't shoot you in the guts, but I will make you realize how much you took your toes for granted.
Terry Pratchett
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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Realize
Realizing
Much
Toes
Make
Cruel
Guts
Shoot
Granted
Took
More quotes by Terry Pratchett
The trouble with thinking was that, once you started, you went on doing it.
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Just call in at the torturer on your way out. See when he can fit you in.
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Most gods find it hard to walk and think at the same time.
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What is magic? There is the wizard's explanation... wizards talk about candles, circles, planets, stars, bananas, chants, runes and the importance of having at least four good meals every day.
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The Auditors fluttered anxiously. And, as always happens in their species when something goes radically wrong and needs fixing instantly, they settled down to try to work how who was to blame.
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Not for the first time in the history of the universe, someone for whom communication normally came as effortlessly as a dream was stuck for inspiration when faced with a few lines on the back of a card.
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There's always a story. It's all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything's got a story in it. Change the story, change the world.
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An ancient proverb summed it up when a wizard is tired of looking for broken glass in his dinner, it ran, he is tired of life.
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Ah, said Mr Pin. Right. I remember. You are concerned citizens. He knew about concerned citizens. Wherever they were, they all spoke the same private language, where 'traditional values' meant 'hang someone'.
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Bill Door was impressed. Miss Flitworth could actually give the word revenue, which had two vowels and one diphthong, all the peremptoriness of the word scum.
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Everywhere's been where it is ever since it was first put there. It's called geography.
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No one knew where you were before you were born, but when you were born, it wasn't long before you found you'd arrived with your return ticket already punched.
Terry Pratchett
You can't remember the plot of the Dr Who movie because it didn't have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together. It did have a lot of flashing lights, though.
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I can't be talking to a tree. If I was talking to a tree I'd be mad, and I'm not mad, so trees can't talk.
Terry Pratchett
The people who really run organizations are usually found several levels down, where it is still possible to get things done.
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You'll see! We're going to the palace. Fetch Angua. We might need her. And bring the search warrant. You mean the sledgehammer, sir? Yes.
Terry Pratchett
There were no lies here. All fancies fled away. That's what happened in all deserts. It was just you, and what you believed.
Terry Pratchett
Everyone's heard of Erwin Schrodinger's famous thought experiment. You put a cat in a box with a bottle of poison, which many people would suggest is about as far as you need to go.
Terry Pratchett
In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?
Terry Pratchett
Light died in the west. Night and tears took the Nation. The star of Water drifted among the clouds like a murderer softly leaving the scene of the crime.
Terry Pratchett