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I dinna trust him, said Slightly Mad Angus. He reads books an' such.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Slightly
Mad
Trust
Books
Book
Angus
Reads

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The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord. Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.
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This wasn't food - it was what food became if it had been good and gone to food heaven.
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I just rearrange words into a pleasing order for money.
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Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point MY POINT EXACTLY.
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Go anywhere you wish, talk to everyone. Ask any questions you will be given answers. When you want to learn, you will be taught. Use the library. Open any book.
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I regarded finding I had a form of Alzheimer's as an insult, and I decided to do my best to marshal any kind of forces that I could against this wretched disease. I have posterior cortical atrophy or PCA. They say, rather ingenuously, that if you have Alzheimer's it's the best form of Alzheimer's to have.
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But is all this true? said Brutha. Didactylos shrugged. Could be. Could be. We are here and it is now. The way I see it is, after that, everything tends towards guesswork. You mean you don't KNOW it's true? said Brutha. I THINK it might be, said Didactylos. I could be wrong. Not being certain is what being a philosopher is all abou
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Oh. I see. People don't want to see what can't possibly exist.
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You get all sorts of people in the library, and the librarian gets it all.
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NAUGHTY AND NICE? said Death. BUT IT'S EASY TO BE NICE IF YOU'RE RICH. IS THIS FAIR? Albert wanted to argue. He wanted to say, Really? In that case, how come so many of the rich buggers is bastards? And being poor don't mean being naughty, neither.
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And Sam Vimes thought: Why is Young Sam's nursery full of farmyard animals anyway? Why are his books full of moo-cows and baa-lambs? He is growing up in the city. He will only see them on a plate! They go sizzle!
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What is normal? Normal was yesterday. If you lose a leg, one day you're hopping around on one leg, so you know the difference.
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The short conversation that follows eventually led to a tree religion. Its tenet of faith was this: a tree that was a good tree and led a clean decent and upstanding life could be assured of a future life after death. If it was very good indeed it would eventually be reincarnated as five thousand rolls of lavatory paper.
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He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting 'All the Gods are bastards.'
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A number of religions in Ankh-Morpork still practiced human sacrifice, except that they didn't really need to practice any more because they had got so good at it.
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Never f*!k with the ineffable.
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If Not You, Who Else?
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It's daft, locking us up, said Nanny. I'd have had us killed. That's because you're basically good, said Magrat. The good are innocent and create justice. The bad are guilty, which is why they invent mercy.
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Cats gravitate to kitchens like rocks gravitate to gravity.
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Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
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