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Unseen University had never admitted women, muttering something about problems with the plumbing, but the real reason was an unspoken dread that if women were allowed to mess around with magic they would probably be embarrassingly good at it.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Something
Magic
Plumbing
Good
Problems
Unspoken
Never
Probably
Admitted
Would
Around
Unseen
Problem
Dread
Women
Mess
Reason
Allowed
Embarrassingly
Real
University
Muttering

More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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Young man, the games we play are lessons we learn. The assumptions we make, things we ignore, and things we change make us what we become.
Terry Pratchett
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First of all you are a writer, a writer is what you are, so it doesn't actually stop the moment you leave your desk, your computer, your keyboard, whatever. Something is operating the back of your mind.
Terry Pratchett
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You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know that when a lot of frightened people are running around with edged weaponry, there are deaths. Stupid deaths, usually. I'm not writing 'The A-Team' - if there's a fight going on, people will get hurt. Not letting this happen would be a betrayal.
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When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man I put away childish things because. wow, then I could afford much *better* childish things!
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But here's some advice, boy. Don't put your trust in revolutions. They always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions.
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I'm trying to remember how you tell the time by looking at the sun. -I should leave it for a while, it's too bright to see the numbers at the moment.
Terry Pratchett
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The shortest unit of time in the multiverse is the New York Second, defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind you honking.
Terry Pratchett
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This time it had been magic. And it didn't stop being magic just because you found out how it was done.
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Shoes, men, coffins never accept the first one you see.
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In Genua, someone set out to make dreams come true. Remember some of your dreams?
Terry Pratchett
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The ideal death, I think, is what was the ideal Victorian death, you know, with your grandchildren around you, a bit of sobbing. And you say goodbye to your loved ones, making certain that one of them has been left behind to look after the shop.
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She heard him mutter, 'Can you take away this grief?' 'I'm sorry,' she replied. 'Everyone asks me. And I would not do so even if I knew how. It belongs to you. Only time and tears take away grief that is what they are for.
Terry Pratchett
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...'I thought the rule was that all monks were shaved.' 'Oh, Soto says he is bald under the hair,'said Lu Tze. 'He says the hair is a separate creature that just happens to live on him.
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I once absent-mindedly ordered Three Mile Island dressing in a restaurant and, with great presence of mind, they brought Thousand Island Dressing and a bottle of chili sauce.
Terry Pratchett
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It's never a good idea to ask a man on a tight-rope how he keeps his balance: a) he would probably fall off and b) he probably doesn't know what the muscles are called in any case.
Terry Pratchett
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He talks pretty big for a gutter wizard, he muttered. You don't understand at all, said the wizard wearily. I'm so scared of you my spine has turned to jelly, it's just that I'm suffering from an overdose of terror right now. I mean, when I've got over that then I'll have time to be decently frightened of you.
Terry Pratchett
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Just because something is a metaphor doesn't mean it can't be real.
Terry Pratchett
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A good banana daiquiri is hard to come by. I've only ever found one place in this country that makes a proper one, and that's in Leeds.
Terry Pratchett
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Oh. I see. People don't want to see what can't possibly exist.
Terry Pratchett
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These weren't encouraged in the city, since the heft and throw of a longbow's arrow could send it through an innocent bystander a hundred yards away instead of the innocent bystander at whom it was aimed.
Terry Pratchett