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...William wondered why he always disliked people who said 'no offense meant.' Maybe it was because they found it easier to to say 'no offense meant' than actually to refrain from giving offense.
Terry Pratchett
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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Actually
Disliked
Found
Refrain
Giving
William
Always
Wondered
People
Offense
Meant
Easier
Maybe
More quotes by Terry Pratchett
This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.
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People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else.
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But you ain't part of it, are you? said Granny conversationally. You try, but you always find yourself watchin' yourself watchin' people, eh? Never quite believin' anything? Thinkin' the wrong thoughts?
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Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs.
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Blessings be on this house, Granny said, perfunctorily. It was always a good opening remark for a witch. It concentrated people's minds on what other things might be on this house.
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I have a suspicion - I have to be careful what I say - that you might actually find the best comics actually written by people who are comics writers and who aren't setting out to do graphic novels.
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Insofar as he'd formed any opinion of her, it was that she suffered from misplaced gentility and the mistaken belief that etiquette meant good breeding. She mistook mannerisms for manners.
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Sooner or later we're all someone's dog.
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People couldn't become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitively wicked.
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Cats don't hunt seals. They would if they knew what they were and where to find them. But they don't, so that's all right.
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God does not play games with His loyal servants, said the Metatron, but in a worried tone of voice. Whooo-eee, said Crowley. Where have you been?
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The key to winning, as always, was looking as if you had every right, nay, duty to be where you were. It helped if you could also suggest in every line of your body that no one else had any rights to be doing anything, anywhere, whatsoever.
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What's the good of having mastery over cosmic balance and knowing the secrets of fate if you can't blow something up?
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Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be.
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No one knew where you were before you were born, but when you were born, it wasn't long before you found you'd arrived with your return ticket already punched.
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Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
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Nigel gave the lamp a cautious buff and small smoking red letters appeared in the air. Hi, Nigel read aloud, Do not put down the lamp because your custom is important to us. Please leave a wish after the tone and, very shortly, it will be our command. In the meantime, have a nice eternity.
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No one thinks that young adults read hooks for YOUNG ADULTS, books for young adults are read by kids.
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Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.
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Experience has taught me that you feel better on a flight if you avoid chicken fat in plastic sauce.
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