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Priests were metal-reinforced overshoes. They saved your soles. This is an Assassin joke.
Terry Pratchett
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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Saved
Soles
Jokes
Assassin
Reinforced
Assassins
Metal
Metals
Priests
Joke
More quotes by Terry Pratchett
Where's the pleasure in bein' the winner if the loser ain't alive to know they've lost?
Terry Pratchett
I'd like to walk on the moon (and return).
Terry Pratchett
Welcome to fear, said Moist to himself. It's hope, turned inside out. You know it can't go wrong, you're sure it can't go wrong... But it might.
Terry Pratchett
Animals never spend time dividing experience into little bits and speculating about all the bits they've missed. The whole panoply of the universe has been neatly expressed to them as things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.
Terry Pratchett
Science fiction is fantasy with bolts painted on outside.
Terry Pratchett
It's a sword. said the Hogfather. They're not meant to be safe.
Terry Pratchett
First Thoughts are the everyday thoughts. Everyone has those. Second Thoughts are the thoughts you think about the way you think. People who enjoy thinking have those. Third Thoughts are thoughts that watch the world and think all by themselves. They’re rare, and often troublesome. Listening to them is part of witchcraft.
Terry Pratchett
Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs.
Terry Pratchett
Mum had done everything you need to educate a kid. She made me a kid who likes books and she told me about 'Wind in the Willows' and read it and I thought this is weird, Rat, Mole, Toad and my first ever Bolshie thought - you know about 'The Wind in the Willows.'
Terry Pratchett
Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.
Terry Pratchett
Look, he said to his imagination, if this is how you're going to behave, I shan't bring you again.
Terry Pratchett
A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
Terry Pratchett
It was the living who ignored the strange and wonderful, because life was too full of the boring and mundane.
Terry Pratchett
No clowns were funny. That was the whole purpose of a clown. People laughed at clowns, but only out of nervousness. The point of clowns was that, after watching them, anything else that happened seemed enjoyable
Terry Pratchett
But then science is nothing but a series of questions that lead to more questions.
Terry Pratchett
No, I happen to be one of those people whose memory shuts down under pressure. The answers would come to me in the middle of the night in my sleep! Besides, I am a millionaire.
Terry Pratchett
Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a red flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front of someone who was annoyed by it.
Terry Pratchett
Everyone is reading what they like and that's a good thing.
Terry Pratchett
You haven't really been anywhere until you've got back home.
Terry Pratchett
If you kept changing the way people saw the world, you ended up changing the way you saw yourself.
Terry Pratchett