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It as true that normal people couldn't hear Gaspode speak, because dogs don't speak. It's a well know fact. ... Besides, almost all dogs don't talk. Ones that do are merely a statistical error, and can therefore be ignored.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Facts
Couldn
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Therefore
Statistical

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There are some people who hate my guts. But that goes with the territory.
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All I am really promoting in the books is the Golden Rule, which I hope everybody knows to be do as you would be done by. It has one or 2 flaws, but it is a good soundbite. Evil starts when you treat other people as things. There are perhaps worse crimes, but they begin when you treat other people as things.
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You have reached the end of cake
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HOROSCOPE: Today is a good time for making new friends. A good deed may have unforeseen consequences. Don’t upset any druids. You will soon be going on a very strange journey. Your lucky food is small cucumbers. People pointing knives at you are probably up to no good. PS, we really mean it about the druids.
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You had to hand it to the Patrician, he admitted grudgingly. If you didn't, he sent men to come and take it away.
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...William wondered why he always disliked people who said 'no offense meant.' Maybe it was because they found it easier to to say 'no offense meant' than actually to refrain from giving offense.
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It's either because of the number of times the scholar puts the boot into Peter Jackson the director of The Lord of the Rings films or is making a point they have never heard of.
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The thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football.
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Unseen University had never admitted women, muttering something about problems with the plumbing, but the real reason was an unspoken dread that if women were allowed to mess around with magic they would probably be embarrassingly good at it.
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You just put that sword away, sir, please, said the voice of Lance-Constable Vimes. You will not shoot me, you young idiot. That would be murder, said the captain calmly. Not where I'm aiming, sir.
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No one knew where you were before you were born, but when you were born, it wasn't long before you found you'd arrived with your return ticket already punched.
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Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.
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One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.
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Her singing always cheered him up. Life seemed so much brighter when she stopped.
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Albert grunted. Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions? Mort thought for a moment. No, he said eventually, what? There was silence. Then Albert straightened up and said, Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right.
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But you ain't part of it, are you? said Granny conversationally. You try, but you always find yourself watchin' yourself watchin' people, eh? Never quite believin' anything? Thinkin' the wrong thoughts?
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I particularly admire are Mark Twain and Jerome K. Jerome who wrote in a certain tone of voice which was humane and understanding of humanity, but always ready to annotate its little foibles. I think I'd lay my cards down on that, and say that it's that that I'm trying to do.
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There’s no point in believing in things that exist.
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All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed.
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And, while it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely got you invited to the very best social occasions.
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