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Monsters are getting more uppity, too (...) I heard where this guy, he killed this monster in this lake, no problem, stuck its arm up over the door (...) and you know what? Its mum come and complained. Its actual mum come right down to the hall next day and complained. Actually complained. That's the respect you get.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Problem
Doors
Monster
Come
Arms
Halls
Right
Respect
Lakes
Heard
Monsters
Uppity
Guy
Actual
Complained
Getting
Killed
Lake
Actually
Stuck
Mum
Next
Door
Hall

More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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The singers all loathe the sight of one another, the chorus despises the singers, they both hate the orchestra, and everyone fears the conductor the staff on one prompt side won't talk to the staff on the opposite prompt side, the dancers are all crazed from hunger in any case.
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Whatever you choose, your choice will mean there are two new worlds. And perhaps sometimes, on the edge of sleep, we will see the shadow of the other world. There will be no unhappy memories.
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You'll see! We're going to the palace. Fetch Angua. We might need her. And bring the search warrant. You mean the sledgehammer, sir? Yes.
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Truth! Freedom! Justice! And a hard-boiled egg!
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One of the hardest lessons in young Sam's life had been finding out that the people in charge weren't in charge. It had been finding out that governments were not, on the whole, staffed by people who had a grip, and that plans were what people made instead of thinking.
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Mr Lipwig, there's a lady in the hall to see you and we've thanked her for not smoking three times and she's still doing it!
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I dare say that quite a few people have contemplated death for reasons that much later seemed to them to be quite minor.
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The universe clearly operates for the benefit of humanity. This can be readily seen from the convenient way the sun comes up in the morning, when people are ready to start the day.
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Freedom without limits is just a word.
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She was a beefy young woman and, whatever piece of music she was playing, it was definitely losing.
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Winners never talk about glorious victories. Thats because they're the ones who see what the battle field looks like afterwards. Its only the losers who have glorious victories.
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I read the best works of some of the best satirists, and indeed best writers from the beginning of the Victorian era to about the 1960s. If you want to be a blacksmith, you go and watch the blacksmith working, and you work out what the blacksmith does.
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Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a red flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front of someone who was annoyed by it.
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Making money isn't something to be ashamed of. There's a feeling now that if you have money you must have got it by some kind of shady dealing or being an MP.
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Correct observation followed by meticulous deduction and the precise visualization of goals is vital to the success of any enterprise.
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All he knew was that you couldn't hope to try for the big stuff, like world peace and happiness, but you might just about be able to achieve some tiny deed that'd make the world, in a small way, a better place. Like shooting someone.
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But I think you have a right to know what it is you’re not being told.
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I think I would like to go into modelling. Of course, I don't know how to do it, and wouldn't be any good at it if I did, so I'm going to employ someone to walk the catwalks on my behalf. It would still be me, of course.
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Either all days are holy or none are.
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Building a temple didn't mean you believed in gods, it just meant you believed in architecture.
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