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-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Identify
Witty
Anywhere
Certainly
Funny

More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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We sleepwalk through our lives, because how could we live if we were always this awake?
Terry Pratchett
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I'm not cruel, sir, I won't shoot you in the guts, but I will make you realize how much you took your toes for granted.
Terry Pratchett
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A good banana daiquiri is hard to come by. I've only ever found one place in this country that makes a proper one, and that's in Leeds.
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You had to deal every day with people who were foolish and lazy and untruthful and downright unpleasant, and you could certainly end up thinking that the world would be considerably improved if you gave them a slap.
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Tʜᴇʀᴇ's ɴᴏ ᴊᴜsᴛɪᴄᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴇ. —Death
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Shoes, men, coffins never accept the first one you see.
Terry Pratchett
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Some people think this is paranoia, but it isn't. Paranoids only think everyone is out to get them. Wizards know it.
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Questions don't have to make sense, Vincent, said Miss Susan. But answers do.
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Everyone should occasionally break the law in some small and delightful way. It's good for the hygiene of the brain.
Terry Pratchett
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Multiple exclamation marks, he went on, shaking his head, are a sure sign of a diseased mind.
Terry Pratchett
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I'm not the world's greatest expert, but I would have thought that the wizards, witches, trolls, unicorns, ... broomsticks and spells would have given her a clue?' - when J.K. Rowling insisted she wasn't writing fantasy.
Terry Pratchett
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Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs.
Terry Pratchett
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Oh, there's plenty of reasons. I just don't know which one.
Terry Pratchett
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Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful.
Terry Pratchett
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Rincewind tried to force the memory out of his mind, but it was rather enjoying itself there, terrorizing the other occupants and kicking over the furniture.
Terry Pratchett
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People don't alter history any more than birds alter the sky, they just make brief patterns in it.
Terry Pratchett
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The shortest unit of time in the multiverse is the New York Second, defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind you honking.
Terry Pratchett
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If failure had no penalty success would not be a prize.
Terry Pratchett
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There would be a price... But if you were worried about the price, then why were you in the shop?
Terry Pratchett
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A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
Terry Pratchett