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-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Identify
Witty
Anywhere
Certainly
Funny

More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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You had to deal every day with people who were foolish and lazy and untruthful and downright unpleasant, and you could certainly end up thinking that the world would be considerably improved if you gave them a slap.
Terry Pratchett
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If you really want to upset a witch, do her a favor which she has no means of repaying. The unfulfilled obligation will nag at her like a hangnail.
Terry Pratchett
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When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man I put away childish things because. wow, then I could afford much *better* childish things!
Terry Pratchett
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It as true that normal people couldn't hear Gaspode speak, because dogs don't speak. It's a well know fact. ... Besides, almost all dogs don't talk. Ones that do are merely a statistical error, and can therefore be ignored.
Terry Pratchett
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Cats gravitate to kitchens like rocks gravitate to gravity.
Terry Pratchett
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What did I tell you about Mister Safety Catch?' said Vimes weakly. When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend,' recited Detritus, saluting.
Terry Pratchett
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It's not lying when you do it to officers!
Terry Pratchett
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Our garden was debated territory between five local cats, and we'd heard that the best way to keep other cats out of the garden was to have one yourself. A moment's rational thought here will spot the slight flaw in this reasoning.
Terry Pratchett
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She was a beefy young woman and, whatever piece of music she was playing, it was definitely losing.
Terry Pratchett
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I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did.
Terry Pratchett
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For an author, the nice characters aren't much fun. What you want are the screwed up characters. You know, the characters that are constantly wondering if what they are doing is the right thing, characters that are not only screwed up but are self-tapping screws. They're doing it for themselves.
Terry Pratchett
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Whatever you choose, your choice will mean there are two new worlds. And perhaps sometimes, on the edge of sleep, we will see the shadow of the other world. There will be no unhappy memories.
Terry Pratchett
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Not for the first time in the history of the universe, someone for whom communication normally came as effortlessly as a dream was stuck for inspiration when faced with a few lines on the back of a card.
Terry Pratchett
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Mr Lipwig, there's a lady in the hall to see you and we've thanked her for not smoking three times and she's still doing it!
Terry Pratchett
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It wasn't that Nanny Ogg sang badly. It was just that she could hit notes which, when amplified by a tin bath half full of water, ceased to be sound and became some sort of invasive presence.
Terry Pratchett
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As large as worlds. As old as Time. As patient as a brick.
Terry Pratchett
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They obeyed, as wise men do when a woman puts her foot down . . .
Terry Pratchett
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But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.
Terry Pratchett
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I have a living will and I have friends, and I have money and I have hope.
Terry Pratchett
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Previous generations understood about death, and undoubtedly would have seen a reasonable amount of death. Once you get into the Victorian era, you might well have seen the funerals of many of your siblings before you were very old.
Terry Pratchett