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This looks like a job for inadvisably applied magic if ever I saw one.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Jobs
Ever
Looks
Like
Applied
Saws
Magic

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Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane?
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Next comes the realist phase (After all, from a purely geometrical point of view a cat is only a tube with a door at the top.)
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I never said nothing... I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You've got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn't dead!
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Even if it's not your fault, it's your responsibility.
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In Genua, someone set out to make dreams come true. Remember some of your dreams?
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No one knew where you were before you were born, but when you were born, it wasn't long before you found you'd arrived with your return ticket already punched.
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Freedom without limits is just a word.
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She was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful: something to be admired from a distance, not up close.
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He never pays attention, he always knows the answer, and he can never tell you how he knows. We can't keep thrashing him. He is a bad example to the other pupils. There's no educating a smart boy.
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The characters are the plot. What they do and say and the things that happen to them are, in a sense, what the plot is. You can't take character and plot apart from each other, really.
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She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you.
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In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.
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This is Art holding a Mirror up to Life. That’s why everything is exactly the wrong way around.
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Witches were a bit like cats. They didn’t much like one another’s company, but they did like to know where all the other witches were, just in case they needed them.
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Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.
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You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.
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But I think you have a right to know what it is you’re not being told.
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The labyrinth of Ephebe is ancient and full of one hundred and one amazing things you can do with hidden springs, razor-sharp knives, and falling rocks.
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So much paperwork to read! So much paperwork to push away! So much paperwork to pretend he hadn't received and that might have been eaten by gargoyles.
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