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Be careful what you wish for. You never know who will be listening.
Terry Pratchett
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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Careful
Listening
Wish
Never
More quotes by Terry Pratchett
Dark Fantasy is just another way of saying Horror.
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When a man is tired of Ankh-Morpork, he is tired of ankle-deep slurry.
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Consider the situation. There you are, forehead like a set of balconies, worrying about the long-term effects of all this new 'fire' stuff on the environment, you're being chased and eaten by most of the planet's large animals, and suddenly tiny versions of one of the worst of them wanders into the cave and starts to purr.
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The universe clearly operates for the benefit of humanity. This can be readily seen from the convenient way the sun comes up in the morning, when people are ready to start the day.
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You did something because it had always been done, and the explanation was, ‘But we’ve always done it this way.’ A million dead people can’t have been wrong, can they?
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Experience has taught me that you feel better on a flight if you avoid chicken fat in plastic sauce.
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Priests were metal-reinforced overshoes. They saved your soles. This is an Assassin joke.
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Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.
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I reckon responsible behavior is something to get when you grow older. Like varicose veins.
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Tʜᴇʀᴇ's ɴᴏ ᴊᴜsᴛɪᴄᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴇ. —Death
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Nanny Ogg never did any housework herself, but she was the cause of housework in other people.
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Banana daiquiris aren't knock-'em-back-by-the-flagon.
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Well, the news has got around. The Duchess of Keepsake has invited us to a ball, Sir Henry and Lady Withering have invited us to a ball, and Lord and Lady Hangfinger have invited us to... yes, a ball. Well, that's a lot of... Don't you dare, Sam.
Terry Pratchett
One thing that writers have in common is that they are readers first. They have read lots and lots of stuff, because they're just infested with lots of stuff.
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First draft: let it run. Turn all the knobs up to 11. Second draft: hell. Cut it down and cut it into shape. Third draft: comb its nose and blow its hair. I usually find that most of the book will have handed itself to me on that first draft.
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All he knew was that you couldn't hope to try for the big stuff, like world peace and happiness, but you might just about be able to achieve some tiny deed that'd make the world, in a small way, a better place. Like shooting someone.
Terry Pratchett
The short conversation that follows eventually led to a tree religion. Its tenet of faith was this: a tree that was a good tree and led a clean decent and upstanding life could be assured of a future life after death. If it was very good indeed it would eventually be reincarnated as five thousand rolls of lavatory paper.
Terry Pratchett
A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.
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Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful.
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People flock in, nevertheless, in search of answers to those questions only librarians are considered to be able to answer, such as Is this the laundry? How do you spell surreptitious? and, on a regular basis, Do you have a book I remember reading once? It had a red cover and it turned out they were twins.
Terry Pratchett