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The shortest unit of time in the multiverse is the New York Second, defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind you honking.
Terry Pratchett
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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
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More quotes by Terry Pratchett
Sometimes I feel that the world is made up of sensible people who know the plot and bloody idiots who don't.
Terry Pratchett
Thou shalt not submit thy god to market forces.
Terry Pratchett
The short conversation that follows eventually led to a tree religion. Its tenet of faith was this: a tree that was a good tree and led a clean decent and upstanding life could be assured of a future life after death. If it was very good indeed it would eventually be reincarnated as five thousand rolls of lavatory paper.
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And what are you doing on it, I would like to know? Running away from home, yesno? If you were a boy I'd say are you going to seek your fortune? Can't girls seek their fortune? I think they're supposed to seek a boy with a fortune.
Terry Pratchett
I think that sick people in Ankh-Morpork generally go to a vet. It's generally a better bet. There's more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say it was god's will when granny dies, but they get angry when they lose a cow.
Terry Pratchett
Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.
Terry Pratchett
Good and bad is tricky, she said. I ain't too certain about where people stand. P'raps what matters is which way you face. (pp. 348-349)
Terry Pratchett
If Not You, Who Else?
Terry Pratchett
For example, the dwarfs found out how to turn lead into gold by doing it the hard way. The difference between that and the easy way is that the hard way works.
Terry Pratchett
We have been so successful in the past century at the art of living longer and staying alive that we have forgotten how to die. Too often we learn the hard way. As soon as the baby boomers pass pensionable age, their lesson will be harsher still.
Terry Pratchett
Look, that's why there's rules, understand? So that you think before you break 'em.
Terry Pratchett
Freedom without limits is just a word.
Terry Pratchett
Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
Terry Pratchett
When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend.
Terry Pratchett
Blessings be on this house, Granny said, perfunctorily. It was always a good opening remark for a witch. It concentrated people's minds on what other things might be on this house.
Terry Pratchett
Some shadows are so long, they arrive before the light.
Terry Pratchett
There's always a story. It's all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything's got a story in it. Change the story, change the world.
Terry Pratchett
Find the story, Granny Weatherwax always said. She believed that the world was full of story shapes. If you let them, they controlled you. But if you studied them, if you found out about them... you could use them, you could change them.
Terry Pratchett
Her singing always cheered him up. Life seemed so much brighter when she stopped.
Terry Pratchett
I must confess the activities of the UK governments for the past couple of years have been watched with frank admiration and amazement by Lord Vetinari. Outright theft as a policy had never occurred to him.
Terry Pratchett