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The short conversation that follows eventually led to a tree religion. Its tenet of faith was this: a tree that was a good tree and led a clean decent and upstanding life could be assured of a future life after death. If it was very good indeed it would eventually be reincarnated as five thousand rolls of lavatory paper.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
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Science Fiction Writer
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Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
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More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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It's an old magical principle - it's even filtered down into RPG systems - that magic, while taking a lot of effort, can be 'stored' - in a staff, for example. No doubt a wizard spends a little time each day charging up his staff, although you go blind if you do it too much, of course.
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The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it.
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The sun rose slowly, as if it wasn't sure it was worth all the effort.
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The Auditors fluttered anxiously. And, as always happens in their species when something goes radically wrong and needs fixing instantly, they settled down to try to work how who was to blame.
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You just put that sword away, sir, please, said the voice of Lance-Constable Vimes. You will not shoot me, you young idiot. That would be murder, said the captain calmly. Not where I'm aiming, sir.
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(About a cookbook...) - What about this one? Maids of Honor? - Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts.
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I stroll along, talk, I sign books, people buy me drinks, I forget where my hotel is, I get lost and fall into some local body of water... done it hundreds of times.
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SOONER OR LATER ALL MEN MUST DIE. EVERYTHING DIES IN THE END. I CAN BE ROBBED BUT NEVER DENIED, I TOLD MYSELF. WHY WORRY? “I too cannot be cheated,” snapped Fate.
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If you don't know when to be a human being, you don't know when to be a witch.
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I don't read an awful lot of fiction and when I do, it tends to be lightweight stuff.
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Actors, said Granny, witheringly. As if the world weren't full of enough history without inventing more.
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They'd smash up the world if they thought it would make a pretty noise.
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Experience has taught me that you feel better on a flight if you avoid chicken fat in plastic sauce.
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Ridcully was to management what King Herod was to the Bethlehem Playgroup Association.
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It's actually true that I keep myself going by constantly promising myself that in response for the hard work I will be allowed to do some more hard work later on.
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A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.
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You've got a lot of time for abstract thought when you've got your hand stuck up a dead badger.
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God does not play games with His loyal servants, said the Metatron, but in a worried tone of voice. Whooo-eee, said Crowley. Where have you been?
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The enemy isn’t men, or women, it’s bloody stupid people and no-one has the right to be stupid.
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Albert grunted. Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions? Mort thought for a moment. No, he said eventually, what? There was silence. Then Albert straightened up and said, Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right.
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