Quote

The short conversation that follows eventually led to a tree religion. Its tenet of faith was this: a tree that was a good tree and led a clean decent and upstanding life could be assured of a future life after death. If it was very good indeed it would eventually be reincarnated as five thousand rolls of lavatory paper.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Five
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Indeed
Lavatory
Religion
Clean
Reincarnated
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Paper
Rolls
Good
Short
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Would
Thousand
Follows
Life
Tree
Decent

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He sighed. It had come to this. He was a responsible authority, and people could use terms like core values at him with impunity.
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Watching a dog try to chew a large piece of toffee is a pastime fit for gods. Mr. Fusspot's mixed ancestry had given him a dexterity of jaw that was truly awesome. He somersaulted happily around the floor, making faces like a rubber gargoyle in a washing machine.
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He's probably their battle poet, too. You mean he makes up heroic songs about famous battles? No, no. He recites poems that frighten the enemy....When a well-trained gonnagle starts to recite, the enemy's ears explode.
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It's hard to explain, said Brutha. But I think it's got something to do with how people should behave... you should do things because they're right. Not because gods say so. They might say something different another time.
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Sometimes you had to take a look at yourself and then look away.
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It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever he said. Have you thought of going into teaching?
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Everywhere's been where it is ever since it was first put there. It's called geography.
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I'm referred to, I see, as 'the biggest banker in modern publishing'. Now there's a line that needed the celebrated Guardian proof-reading.
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Vimes's lack of interest in other people's children was limitless.
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First draft: let it run. Turn all the knobs up to 11. Second draft: hell. Cut it down and cut it into shape. Third draft: comb its nose and blow its hair. I usually find that most of the book will have handed itself to me on that first draft.
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The universe clearly operates for the benefit of humanity. This can be readily seen from the convenient way the sun comes up in the morning, when people are ready to start the day.
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I can see we're going to get along like a house on fire, said Miss Tick. There may be no survivors.
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But here's some advice, boy. Don't put your trust in revolutions. They always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions.
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The sun is simple. A sword is simple. A storm is simple. Behind everything simple is a huge tail of complicated.
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I just rearrange words into a pleasing order for money.
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I'd go for really great writer. Although I don't think I am. I know I have a style which is recognizable. I think you can see Terry Pratchett in every book. I like doing it. I was once a journalist. And I think of myself as a journalist, and that's it.
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Belief was never mentioned at home, but right actions were taught by daily example.
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The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind.
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Contrary to popular belief and hope, people don't usually come running when they hear a scream. That's not how humans work. Humans look at other humans and say, 'Did you hear a scream?' because the first scream might have been you screaming inside your head, or a horse backfiring.
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Wisdom is one of the few things that looks bigger the further away it is.
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