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This is a lovely party, said the Bursar to a chair, I wish I was here.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Chair
Chairs
Lovely
Party
Wish

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Oh, there's plenty of reasons. I just don't know which one.
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It's hard to explain, said Brutha. But I think it's got something to do with how people should behave... you should do things because they're right. Not because gods say so. They might say something different another time.
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- I notice you didn't laugh, Mr. Black! - No, Your Majesty. We are forbidden to laugh at the things kings say, sire, because otherwise we would be at it all day.
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Child. That was a terrible thing to say to anyone who was almost thirteen.
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She was convinced that she was anorexic, because every time she looked in the mirror she did indeed see a fat person.
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I found while driving in Wyoming that wearing a stetson and driving a beat-up pickup meant you could go as fast as you like, while the police picked up Californian winnebagos that went one mph over 55. After all, they wanted to bring money into the state, not merely circulate it.
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Never trust any complicated cocktail that remains perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in, and then immediately clouds.
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The words are easy - most of them have already been invented.
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Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft. When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big.
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But, in truth, it had not exactly been gold, or even the promise of gold, but more like the fantasy of gold, the fairy dream that the gold is there, at the end of the rainbow, and will continue to be there forever - provided, naturally, that you don't go and look. This is known as finance.
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I keep vaguely wondering what Macs are like, but the ones I've seen spend too much time being friendly.
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Tʜᴇʀᴇ's ɴᴏ ᴊᴜsᴛɪᴄᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴇ. —Death
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Any fool could be a witch with a runic knife, but it took skill to be one with an apple corer.
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The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip.
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Most gods find it hard to walk and think at the same time.
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Fantasy is uni-age. You can start it in the creche, and it follows you to death.
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What is normal? Normal was yesterday. If you lose a leg, one day you're hopping around on one leg, so you know the difference.
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I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.
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WHERE'S MY COW? ARE YOU MY COW?
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The thing about stories is you have to pick the ones that last.
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