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If you try to to take my bananas from me, I will reclaim them from your cold dead hands.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Trying
Reclaim
Bananas
Cold
Dead
Hands
Take

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They may have been ugly. They may have been evil. But when it came to poetry in motion, the Things had all the grace and coordination of a deck-chair.
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The conversation of human beings seldom interested him, but it crossed his mind that the males and females always got along best when neither actually listened fully to what the other one was saying.
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Most witches don’t believe in gods. They know that the gods exist, of course. They even deal with them occasionally. But they don’t believe in them. They know them too well. It would be like believing in the postman.
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If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life.
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… you were so worried about legal and illegal that you never stopped to think about whether it was right or wrong.
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Aziraphale. The Enemy, of course. But an enemy for six thousand years now, which made him a sort of friend.
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The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that's where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight.
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She'd become a governess. It was one of the few jobs a known lady could do. And she'd taken to it well. She'd sworn that if she did indeed ever find herself dancing on rooftops with chimney sweeps she'd beat herself to death with her own umbrella.
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History, contrary to popular theories, is kings and dates and battles.
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One thing that writers have in common is that they are readers first. They have read lots and lots of stuff, because they're just infested with lots of stuff.
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You were the kind of kid who couldn't see the difference between throwing rocks at a cat and setting it on fire.
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But that was just it - hate was exactly the right word. Hate is a force of attraction. Hate is just love with its back turned.
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Humans need fantasy in order to be human.
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So let's not get frightened when the children read fantasy. It's the compost for a healthy mind. It stimulate s the inquisitive nodes, and there is some evidence that a rich internal fantasy life is as good and necessary for a child as healthy soil is for a plant, for much the same reasons.
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Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be.
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There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.
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Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.
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You've got a lot of time for abstract thought when you've got your hand stuck up a dead badger.
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...William wondered why he always disliked people who said 'no offense meant.' Maybe it was because they found it easier to to say 'no offense meant' than actually to refrain from giving offense.
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