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It's a sword. said the Hogfather. They're not meant to be safe.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Sword
Meant
Safe

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Many an ancient lord's last words have been, 'You can't kill me because I've got magic aaargh.'
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The universe, they said, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which they identified as charm, persuasion, uncertainty and bloody-mindedness.
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Botswana is also the only country in the world with a colour in its flag meant to represent rain (a sort of blue-grey). Not many people know this.
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For an author, the nice characters aren't much fun. What you want are the screwed up characters. You know, the characters that are constantly wondering if what they are doing is the right thing, characters that are not only screwed up but are self-tapping screws. They're doing it for themselves.
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Peace?' said Vetinari. 'Ah, yes, defined as period of time to allow for preparation for the next war.
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What's the good of having mastery over cosmic balance and knowing the secrets of fate if you can't blow something up?
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No clowns were funny. That was the whole purpose of a clown. People laughed at clowns, but only out of nervousness. The point of clowns was that, after watching them, anything else that happened seemed enjoyable
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I reckon that Stonehege was build by the contemporary equivalent of Microsoft, whereas Avebury was definitely an Apple circle.
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This is Art holding a Mirror up to Life. That’s why everything is exactly the wrong way around.
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I must have read every issue of 'Punch' published in the 20th century, and I think in the process I picked up the true voice of English humour - that amiable, fairly liberal, laconic voice which you find in something like 'Three Men in a Boat.'
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Granny Weatherwax was not a good loser. From her point of view, losing was something that happened to other people.
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I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did.
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I don't want unnecessary violence, sergeant, said Blouse. Right you are, sir! said the sergeant. Carborundum! First man comes through that door runnin', I want him nailed to the wall! He caught the lieutenant's eye, and added: But not too hard!
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Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things.
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Voodoo is a very interesting religion for the whole family, even those members of it who are dead.
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There's a lot of science in it, and as Slartibartfast [in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] said: 'I am a great fan of science, but I cannot do a quadratic equation.' I've never, ever been able to do one. I remember one occasion at Warwick University, when Jack and Ian were at their wits' end because I couldn't get it. I felt totally ashamed.
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I don't think I've ever been critical of the money Douglas Adams makes, especially since, as has been tactfully pointed out, I myself have had to change banks having filled the first one up.
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Aziraphale. The Enemy, of course. But an enemy for six thousand years now, which made him a sort of friend.
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Poetic simile was strictly limited to statements like 'his mighty steed was as fleet as the wind on a fairly calm day, say about Force Three,' and any loose talk about a beloved having a face that launched a thousand ships would have to be backed by evidence that the object of desire did indeed look like a bottle of champagne.
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As far as I'm concerned, I'm a writer who's writing books, and therefore, I don't want to die. You'd miss the end of the book, wouldn't you? You can't die with an unfinished book.
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