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I can't be talking to a tree. If I was talking to a tree I'd be mad, and I'm not mad, so trees can't talk.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Talking
Sane
Trees
Tree
Courses
Talk

More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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You call yourself some kind of goddess and you know nothing, madam, nothing. What don't die can't live. What don't live can't change. What don't change can't learn. The smallest creature that dies in the grass knows more than you.
Terry Pratchett
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Oh, well...up until now it had been a good day, in a horrible kind of way.
Terry Pratchett
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There’s no point in believing in things that exist.
Terry Pratchett
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There are plenty of people who believe that Elvis is alive, or that aliens occasionally land here to do highly personal things to people, or that the whole idea of evolution is a conspiracy of godless scientists. Almost all of these people can vote and some of them have got guns.
Terry Pratchett
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Putting up a statue to someone who tried to stop a war is not very, um, statuesque. Of course, if you had butchered five hundred of your own men out of arrogant carelessness, we'd be melting the bronze already.
Terry Pratchett
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It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever he said. Have you thought of going into teaching?
Terry Pratchett
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The IQ of a mob is the IQ of its dumbest member divided by the number of mobsters.
Terry Pratchett
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We are here and it is now. The way I see it is, after that, everything tends towards guesswork.
Terry Pratchett
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For an author, the nice characters aren't much fun. What you want are the screwed up characters. You know, the characters that are constantly wondering if what they are doing is the right thing, characters that are not only screwed up but are self-tapping screws. They're doing it for themselves.
Terry Pratchett
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The 'New Testament', now, I quite liked. Jesus had a lot of good things to say, and as for his father, he must have been highly thought of by the community to work with wood - a material that couldn't have been widely available in Palestine.
Terry Pratchett
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Good or bad, do it as you. Too many lies and there's no truth to go back to.
Terry Pratchett
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There's always a story. It's all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything's got a story in it. Change the story, change the world.
Terry Pratchett
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When a man is tired of Ankh-Morpork, he is tired of ankle-deep slurry.
Terry Pratchett
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I know it's a very human thing to say 'Is there anything I can do', but in this case I would only entertain offers from very high-end experts in brain chemistry.
Terry Pratchett
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Strength enough to build a home, Time enough to hold a child, Love enough to break a heart
Terry Pratchett
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(About sweeping).... What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends.
Terry Pratchett
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Life is just chemicals. A drop here, a drip there, everything's changed. A mere dribble of fermented juices and sudenlly you're going to live another few hours.
Terry Pratchett
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Words are the litmus paper of the mind.
Terry Pratchett
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...'I thought the rule was that all monks were shaved.' 'Oh, Soto says he is bald under the hair,'said Lu Tze. 'He says the hair is a separate creature that just happens to live on him.
Terry Pratchett
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She was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful: something to be admired from a distance, not up close.
Terry Pratchett