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I can't be talking to a tree. If I was talking to a tree I'd be mad, and I'm not mad, so trees can't talk.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Trees
Tree
Courses
Talk
Talking
Sane

More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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DO I DETECT A NOTE OF UNSEASONAL GRUMPINESS? said Death. NO SUGAR PIGGYWIGGY FOR YOU, ALBERT.
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Asking someone to repeat a phrase you'd not only heard very clearly but were also exceedingly angry about was around Defcon II in the lexicon of squabble.
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His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.
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I'd like to stand up for the rights of people who put everything on their burger - chutney, mustard, pickle, mustard pickle, tomato sauce... It is common knowledge in my family that I can't tell the difference between a veggie burger and a meat one, because the ratio of burger to pickles is so high.
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When people say clearly something that means there's a huge crack in their argument and they know things aren't clear at all.
Terry Pratchett
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It was like being in a Jane Austen novel, but one with far less clothing.
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So let's not get frightened when the children read fantasy. It's the compost for a healthy mind. It stimulate s the inquisitive nodes, and there is some evidence that a rich internal fantasy life is as good and necessary for a child as healthy soil is for a plant, for much the same reasons.
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Colon has always thought that heroes had some special kind of clockwork that made them go out and die famously for god, country and apple pie, or whatever particular delicacy their mother made. It had never occurred to him that they might do it because they'd get yelled at if they didn't.
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Some of them wanted to sell me snake oil and I'm not necessarily going to dismiss all of these, as I have never found a rusty snake.
Terry Pratchett
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Rings try to find their way back to their owner. Someone ought to write a book about it.
Terry Pratchett
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Things just happen. What the hell.
Terry Pratchett
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I was once a journalist. And I think of myself as a journalist, and that's it. You tell the truth. I even wrote a book called 'The Truth'.
Terry Pratchett
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Just because something is a metaphor doesn't mean it can't be real.
Terry Pratchett
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My own books drive themselves. I know roughly where a book is going to end, but essentially the story develops under my fingers. It's just a matter of joining the dots.
Terry Pratchett
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All property is theft, except mine.
Terry Pratchett
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What is normal? Normal was yesterday. If you lose a leg, one day you're hopping around on one leg, so you know the difference.
Terry Pratchett
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Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.
Terry Pratchett
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Oh, well...up until now it had been a good day, in a horrible kind of way.
Terry Pratchett
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I do not in fact use many puns. Certainly there are far fewer than people believe. But I suspect the ones I do occasionally use tend to hang around in people's memories for a while.
Terry Pratchett
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The three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence 2) Books must be returned by no later than the date shown and 3) Do not interfere with the nature of causality.
Terry Pratchett