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I would like you to teach [the orcs] civilised behaviour, said Ladyship coldly. He appeared to consider this. Yes of course, I think that would be quite possible, he said. And who would you send to teach the humans?

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Think
Consider
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Orcs
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Coldly
Teach
Civilised
Possible
Appeared
Humans
Behaviour
Would
Send

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Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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Let's see, now... in HOGFATHER there are a number of stabbings, someone's killed by a man made of knives, someone's killed by the dark, and someone just been killed by a wardrobe. It's a book about the magic of childhood. You can tell.
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What can the harvest hope for...
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The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it.
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Most armies are in fact run by their sergeants - the officers are there just to give things a bit of tone and prevent warfare becoming a mere lower-class brawl.
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They may have been ugly. They may have been evil. But when it came to poetry in motion, the Things had all the grace and coordination of a deck-chair.
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Vimes struggled to his feet, shook his head and set off after it. No thought was involved. It is the ancient instinct of terriers and policemen to chase anything that runs away.
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There has been a lot of bad fantasy in the past - I'm by no means saying that all classic fantasy out there is bad - but there has been a lot of bad fantasy written by people who read a lot of fantasy and so all they keep doing is recycling it.
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I tell you, commander, it's true that some of the most terrible things in the world are done by people who think, genuinely think, that they're doing it for the best, especially if there is some god involved.
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- I notice you didn't laugh, Mr. Black! - No, Your Majesty. We are forbidden to laugh at the things kings say, sire, because otherwise we would be at it all day.
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I'm interested in mythology generally, but India has no special place in my heart - although Hindu gods seem a lot more fun.
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I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted.
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Or -- and this she knew was a far more accurate way of looking at it -- the book was true and reality was lying.
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Many an ancient lord's last words have been, 'You can't kill me because I've got magic aaargh.'
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I have to write because if I don't get something down then after a while I feel it's going to bang the side of my head off.
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This is Art holding a Mirror up to Life. That’s why everything is exactly the wrong way around.
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(About sweeping).... What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends.
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Bill Door was impressed. Miss Flitworth could actually give the word revenue, which had two vowels and one diphthong, all the peremptoriness of the word scum.
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The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.
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We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.
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