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I would like you to teach [the orcs] civilised behaviour, said Ladyship coldly. He appeared to consider this. Yes of course, I think that would be quite possible, he said. And who would you send to teach the humans?
Terry Pratchett
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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Teach
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Behaviour
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Orcs
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Coldly
More quotes by Terry Pratchett
Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things.
Terry Pratchett
I'm trying to have a moment o' existential dreed here, right? Crivens, it's a puir lookout if a man canna feel the chilly winds o' fate lashing aroound his netheres wi'out folks telling him he's deid, eh?
Terry Pratchett
You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.
Terry Pratchett
Ah, said Mr Pin. Right. I remember. You are concerned citizens. He knew about concerned citizens. Wherever they were, they all spoke the same private language, where 'traditional values' meant 'hang someone'.
Terry Pratchett
Actors, said Granny, witheringly. As if the world weren't full of enough history without inventing more.
Terry Pratchett
They'd smash up the world if they thought it would make a pretty noise.
Terry Pratchett
You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know that when a lot of frightened people are running around with edged weaponry, there are deaths. Stupid deaths, usually. I'm not writing 'The A-Team' - if there's a fight going on, people will get hurt. Not letting this happen would be a betrayal.
Terry Pratchett
It's actually true that I keep myself going by constantly promising myself that in response for the hard work I will be allowed to do some more hard work later on.
Terry Pratchett
What is magic? There is the wizard's explanation... wizards talk about candles, circles, planets, stars, bananas, chants, runes and the importance of having at least four good meals every day.
Terry Pratchett
The most prudent thing any intelligent animal can do, if it would prefer its descendents not to spend a lot of time on a slab with electrodes clamped to their brains or sticking mines on the bottom of ships, or being patronised by zoologists, is to make bloody certain humans don't find out about it.
Terry Pratchett
Well, the news has got around. The Duchess of Keepsake has invited us to a ball, Sir Henry and Lady Withering have invited us to a ball, and Lord and Lady Hangfinger have invited us to... yes, a ball. Well, that's a lot of... Don't you dare, Sam.
Terry Pratchett
There are millions of chords. There are millions of numbers. And everyone forgets the one that is a zero. But without the zero, numbers are just arithmetic. Without the empty chord, music is just noise.
Terry Pratchett
Knowing that you are going to die is, I suspect, the beginning of wisdom.
Terry Pratchett
The pen is mightier than the sword ... if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.
Terry Pratchett
It was the heart of any scam or fiddle -- keep the punter uncertain, or, if he is certain, make him certain of the wrong thing.
Terry Pratchett
If you really want to upset a witch, do her a favor which she has no means of repaying. The unfulfilled obligation will nag at her like a hangnail.
Terry Pratchett
Vimes's lack of interest in other people's children was limitless.
Terry Pratchett
Monsters are getting more uppity, too (...) I heard where this guy, he killed this monster in this lake, no problem, stuck its arm up over the door (...) and you know what? Its mum come and complained. Its actual mum come right down to the hall next day and complained. Actually complained. That's the respect you get.
Terry Pratchett
Oh, where are my manners? Do sit down. Pull up a small child.
Terry Pratchett
Adventure! People talked about the idea as if it were something worthwhile, rather than a mess of bad food, no sleep and strange people inexplicably trying to stick pointed objects in bits of you.
Terry Pratchett