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I would like you to teach [the orcs] civilised behaviour, said Ladyship coldly. He appeared to consider this. Yes of course, I think that would be quite possible, he said. And who would you send to teach the humans?
Terry Pratchett
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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
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Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Coldly
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More quotes by Terry Pratchett
After a while, another voice said: One, two, three, four- And the universe came into being. It was wrong to call it a big bang. That would just be noise, and all that noise could create is more noise and a cosmos full of random particles. Matter exploded into being, apparently as chaos, but in fact as a chord. The ultimate power chord.
Terry Pratchett
Just call in at the torturer on your way out. See when he can fit you in.
Terry Pratchett
Occasionally he would very nearly swear.
Terry Pratchett
If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life.
Terry Pratchett
Don't you understand? snarled Rincewind. We are going over the Edge, godsdammit! Can't we do anything about it? No! Then I can't see the sense in panicking, said Twoflower calmly.
Terry Pratchett
- I notice you didn't laugh, Mr. Black! - No, Your Majesty. We are forbidden to laugh at the things kings say, sire, because otherwise we would be at it all day.
Terry Pratchett
This was the definition of eternity it was the space of time devised by the Great God Om to ensure that everyone got the punishment that was due to them.
Terry Pratchett
Of course, just because we've heard a spine-chilling, blood-curdling scream of the sort to make your very marrow freeze in your bones doesn't automatically mean there's anything wrong.
Terry Pratchett
People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.
Terry Pratchett
Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk [...]
Terry Pratchett
I used to think that I was stupid, and then I met philosophers.
Terry Pratchett
Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along.
Terry Pratchett
SOONER OR LATER ALL MEN MUST DIE. EVERYTHING DIES IN THE END. I CAN BE ROBBED BUT NEVER DENIED, I TOLD MYSELF. WHY WORRY? “I too cannot be cheated,” snapped Fate.
Terry Pratchett
Everything is a test.
Terry Pratchett
People don't alter history any more than birds alter the sky, they just make brief patterns in it.
Terry Pratchett
I'm referred to, I see, as 'the biggest banker in modern publishing'. Now there's a line that needed the celebrated Guardian proof-reading.
Terry Pratchett
As a species, we are forever sticking our finger into the electric socket of the universe to see what will happen next.
Terry Pratchett
Privilege (to the privileged) means having private laws.
Terry Pratchett
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
Terry Pratchett
I think that sick people in Ankh-Morpork generally go to a vet. It's generally a better bet. There's more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say it was god's will when granny dies, but they get angry when they lose a cow.
Terry Pratchett