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I would like you to teach [the orcs] civilised behaviour, said Ladyship coldly. He appeared to consider this. Yes of course, I think that would be quite possible, he said. And who would you send to teach the humans?
Terry Pratchett
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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
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Humans
Behaviour
More quotes by Terry Pratchett
I know that I am a small, weak man, but I have amassed a large library I dream of dangerous places.
Terry Pratchett
… you were so worried about legal and illegal that you never stopped to think about whether it was right or wrong.
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I think that sick people in Ankh-Morpork generally go to a vet. It's generally a better bet. There's more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say it was god's will when granny dies, but they get angry when they lose a cow.
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What I've always said was, hang in there, let me write what I want to write, and you'll probably like it.
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Young adults that actually read are reading bodice rippers and best-sellers and me. And Horror.
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Just because something is a metaphor doesn't mean it can't be real.
Terry Pratchett
The point of page one is to make people turn to page two and if at the end of the book people think that the book was good value for money, you have achieved something, because if you haven't achieved those things you're not going to achieve the other thing.
Terry Pratchett
I used to think that I was stupid, and then I met philosophers.
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Watching a dog try to chew a large piece of toffee is a pastime fit for gods. Mr. Fusspot's mixed ancestry had given him a dexterity of jaw that was truly awesome. He somersaulted happily around the floor, making faces like a rubber gargoyle in a washing machine.
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Imagination, not intelligence, made us human.
Terry Pratchett
Several sellers of hot meat pies and sausages in a bun had appeared from nowhere and were doing a brisk trade. [Footnote: They always do, everywhere. No-one sees them arrive. The logical explaination is that the franchise includes the stall, the paper hat and a small gas-powered time machine.]
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This looks like a job for inadvisably applied magic if ever I saw one.
Terry Pratchett
Knowing how bad you could be is a great encouragement to being good.
Terry Pratchett
Ninety percent of most magic merely consists of knowing one extra fact.
Terry Pratchett
If anyone wants one my advise is to go where the orthodox Jews shop, because when it comes to a big black fedora, the guys with ringlets and long black coats definitely know a stylish hat when they see one. You want to get it home and use a hot steaming kettle, and bob's your uncle - you have a hat with all the right curves!
Terry Pratchett
And we don't often get any wading birds in the River Ankh, mainly because the pollution would eat their legs away and anyway, it's easier for them to walk on the surface.
Terry Pratchett
Not for the first time in the history of the universe, someone for whom communication normally came as effortlessly as a dream was stuck for inspiration when faced with a few lines on the back of a card.
Terry Pratchett
Making money isn't something to be ashamed of. There's a feeling now that if you have money you must have got it by some kind of shady dealing or being an MP.
Terry Pratchett
It was possibly the most circumspect advance in the history of military maneuvers, right down at the bottom end of the scale that things like the Charge of the Light Brigade are at the top of.
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I have a living will and I have friends, and I have money and I have hope.
Terry Pratchett