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Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Terry Pratchett
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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
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More quotes by Terry Pratchett
Just call in at the torturer on your way out. See when he can fit you in.
Terry Pratchett
And then you bit onto them, and learned once again that Cut-me-own-Throat Dibbler could find a use for bits of an animal that the animal didn't know it had got. Dibbler had worked out that with enough fried onions and mustard people would eat anything.
Terry Pratchett
It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.
Terry Pratchett
Once you've ruled out the impossible then whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truth. The problem lay in working out what was impossible, of course. That was the trick, all right. There was also the curious incident of the orangutan in the night-time.
Terry Pratchett
It was so loud and so deep, it wasn't really sound at all, just something that turned the air hard and then hit you with it.
Terry Pratchett
I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.
Terry Pratchett
But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.
Terry Pratchett
Fantasy doesn't have to be fantastic. American writers in particular find this much harder to grasp. You need to have your feet on the ground as much as your head in the clouds. The cute dragon that sits on your shoulder also craps all down your back, but this makes it more interesting because it gives it an added dimension.
Terry Pratchett
It's a guilty secret of a lot of writers, as you get older you don't read as much fiction as you used to, mainly because it's like you are deconstructing it all the time.
Terry Pratchett
I dinna trust him, said Slightly Mad Angus. He reads books an' such.
Terry Pratchett
People are often so busy living that they never stop to wonder why.
Terry Pratchett
His parents called him Youngster. They did this in the subconcious hope that he might take the hint. Wensleydale gave the impression of having been born with a mental age of 47.
Terry Pratchett
I can't be talking to a tree. If I was talking to a tree I'd be mad, and I'm not mad, so trees can't talk.
Terry Pratchett
Be careful what you wish for. You never know who will be listening.
Terry Pratchett
Granny sighed. You have learned something, she said, and thought it safe to insert a touch of sternness into her voice. They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.
Terry Pratchett
Now that their long war was over, they could get on with the proper concern of all civilised nations, which is to prepare for the next one.
Terry Pratchett
It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive you could get death for free.
Terry Pratchett
Knowing how bad you could be is a great encouragement to being good.
Terry Pratchett
Several sellers of hot meat pies and sausages in a bun had appeared from nowhere and were doing a brisk trade. [Footnote: They always do, everywhere. No-one sees them arrive. The logical explaination is that the franchise includes the stall, the paper hat and a small gas-powered time machine.]
Terry Pratchett
Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it.
Terry Pratchett