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A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
Terry Pratchett
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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Snoring
Swear
Prepared
Marriage
Two
Made
Always
People
Snores
More quotes by Terry Pratchett
They were also slightly less intelligent than he was. This is a quality you should always pray for in your would-be murderer.
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Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because - what with trolls and dwarfs and so on - speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green.
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Because some stories end, but old stories go on, and you gotta dance to the music if you want to stay ahead
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When people say clearly something that means there's a huge crack in their argument and they know things aren't clear at all.
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Natural selection saw to it that professional heroes who at a crucial moment tended to ask themselves questions like 'What is my purpose in life?' very quickly lacked both.
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Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was. Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid.
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His progress through life was hampered by his tremendous sense of his own ignorance, a disability which affects all too few.
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She was also, by the standards of other people, lost. She would not see it like that. She knew where she was, it was just that everywhere else didn't.
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The most prudent thing any intelligent animal can do, if it would prefer its descendents not to spend a lot of time on a slab with electrodes clamped to their brains or sticking mines on the bottom of ships, or being patronised by zoologists, is to make bloody certain humans don't find out about it.
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My idea of a good novel was one you made enough money out of to buy a greenhouse.
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It is at this point that normal language gives up, and goes and has a drink.
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Putting up a statue to someone who tried to stop a war is not very, um, statuesque. Of course, if you had butchered five hundred of your own men out of arrogant carelessness, we'd be melting the bronze already.
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I wonder if it's like this for mountain climbers, he thought. You climb bigger and bigger mountains and you know that one day one of them is going to be just that bit too steep. But you go on doing it, because it’s so-o good when you breathe the air up there. And you know you'll die falling.
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In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.
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I used to think that I was stupid, and then I met philosophers.
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And then you bit onto them, and learned once again that Cut-me-own-Throat Dibbler could find a use for bits of an animal that the animal didn't know it had got. Dibbler had worked out that with enough fried onions and mustard people would eat anything.
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She heard him mutter, 'Can you take away this grief?' 'I'm sorry,' she replied. 'Everyone asks me. And I would not do so even if I knew how. It belongs to you. Only time and tears take away grief that is what they are for.
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Don't be smart. Smart is only a polished version of dumb. Try intelligence. It will surely see you through.
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Granny Weatherwax was not a good loser. From her point of view, losing was something that happened to other people.
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Cats gravitate to kitchens like rocks gravitate to gravity.
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