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A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Swear
Prepared
Marriage
Two
Made
Always
People
Snores
Snoring

More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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It's an old magical principle - it's even filtered down into RPG systems - that magic, while taking a lot of effort, can be 'stored' - in a staff, for example. No doubt a wizard spends a little time each day charging up his staff, although you go blind if you do it too much, of course.
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The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.
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This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.
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Because some stories end, but old stories go on, and you gotta dance to the music if you want to stay ahead
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Experience has taught me that you feel better on a flight if you avoid chicken fat in plastic sauce.
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But is all this true? said Brutha. Didactylos shrugged. Could be. Could be. We are here and it is now. The way I see it is, after that, everything tends towards guesswork. You mean you don't KNOW it's true? said Brutha. I THINK it might be, said Didactylos. I could be wrong. Not being certain is what being a philosopher is all abou
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The diplomatic thing for me to say is that if publishers are dressing up other authors as Terry Pratchett clones then they are doing a disservice to those authors. If they didn't dress them as clones but did something different, then those authors could be pioneering in a different sense.
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It was the living who ignored the strange and wonderful, because life was too full of the boring and mundane.
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There has been a lot of bad fantasy in the past - I'm by no means saying that all classic fantasy out there is bad - but there has been a lot of bad fantasy written by people who read a lot of fantasy and so all they keep doing is recycling it.
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Vimes had got around to a Clean Desk policy. It was a Clean Floor strategy that eluded him at the moment.
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A European says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with me? An American says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with him? I make no suggestion that one side or other is right, but observation over many years leads me to believe it is true.
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If you kept changing the way people saw the world, you ended up changing the way you saw yourself.
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People are content to wait a long time for salvation, but prefer dinner to turn up inside an hour.
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You have to start out learning to believe the little lies. So we can believe the big ones? Yes. Justice, mercy, duty. That sort of thing.
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I know it's a very human thing to say 'Is there anything I can do', but in this case I would only entertain offers from very high-end experts in brain chemistry.
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What is magic? There is the wizard's explanation... wizards talk about candles, circles, planets, stars, bananas, chants, runes and the importance of having at least four good meals every day.
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You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.
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The most prudent thing any intelligent animal can do, if it would prefer its descendents not to spend a lot of time on a slab with electrodes clamped to their brains or sticking mines on the bottom of ships, or being patronised by zoologists, is to make bloody certain humans don't find out about it.
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Anyway, if you stop tellin' people it's all sorted out afer they're dead, they might try sorting it all out while they're alive.
Terry Pratchett
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Smaller-than-Medium-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock
Terry Pratchett