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I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm. At the time this was the last thing on my mind.
Terry Pratchett
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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
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Manchester
Looks
Screaming
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Tour
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Bars
Thing
Late
Mind
Lasts
Orgasm
Time
Last
Staggered
Night
Waitress
More quotes by Terry Pratchett
People needed to believe in gods, if only because it was so hard to believe in people.
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I'm trying to remember how you tell the time by looking at the sun. -I should leave it for a while, it's too bright to see the numbers at the moment.
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Given enough coffee I could rule the world
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Vimes's lack of interest in other people's children was limitless.
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Mum had done everything you need to educate a kid. She made me a kid who likes books and she told me about 'Wind in the Willows' and read it and I thought this is weird, Rat, Mole, Toad and my first ever Bolshie thought - you know about 'The Wind in the Willows.'
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It was like being in a Jane Austen novel, but one with far less clothing.
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You have to start out learning to believe the little lies. So we can believe the big ones? Yes. Justice, mercy, duty. That sort of thing.
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First draft: let it run. Turn all the knobs up to 11. Second draft: hell. Cut it down and cut it into shape. Third draft: comb its nose and blow its hair. I usually find that most of the book will have handed itself to me on that first draft.
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If you try to to take my bananas from me, I will reclaim them from your cold dead hands.
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I can see we're going to get along like a house on fire, said Miss Tick. There may be no survivors.
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She was also, by the standards of other people, lost. She would not see it like that. She knew where she was, it was just that everywhere else didn't.
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Not for the first time in the history of the universe, someone for whom communication normally came as effortlessly as a dream was stuck for inspiration when faced with a few lines on the back of a card.
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Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.
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Right! Right! You can get there! I can get there! You're a natural at counting to two! I'm a nat'ral at counting to two! If you can count to two, you can count to anything! If I can count to two, I can count to anything! And then the world is your mollusc! My mollusc! What's a mollusc?
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I don't think I've ever been critical of the money Douglas Adams makes, especially since, as has been tactfully pointed out, I myself have had to change banks having filled the first one up.
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Nanny Ogg never did any housework herself, but she was the cause of housework in other people.
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Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk [...]
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I'm up to my neck in the real world, every day. Just you try doing your VAT return with a head full of goblins.
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When a man is tired of Ankh-Morpork, he is tired of ankle-deep slurry.
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I'm glad a genre writer has got a knighthood, but stunned that it was me.
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