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I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm. At the time this was the last thing on my mind.
Terry Pratchett
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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Night
Waitress
Look
Manchester
Looks
Screaming
Need
Tour
Needs
Bars
Thing
Late
Mind
Lasts
Orgasm
Time
Last
Staggered
More quotes by Terry Pratchett
The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that's where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight.
Terry Pratchett
The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip.
Terry Pratchett
Of course, just because we've heard a spine-chilling, blood-curdling scream of the sort to make your very marrow freeze in your bones doesn't automatically mean there's anything wrong.
Terry Pratchett
...'I thought the rule was that all monks were shaved.' 'Oh, Soto says he is bald under the hair,'said Lu Tze. 'He says the hair is a separate creature that just happens to live on him.
Terry Pratchett
Don't you understand? snarled Rincewind. We are going over the Edge, godsdammit! Can't we do anything about it? No! Then I can't see the sense in panicking, said Twoflower calmly.
Terry Pratchett
They were also slightly less intelligent than he was. This is a quality you should always pray for in your would-be murderer.
Terry Pratchett
Colon has always thought that heroes had some special kind of clockwork that made them go out and die famously for god, country and apple pie, or whatever particular delicacy their mother made. It had never occurred to him that they might do it because they'd get yelled at if they didn't.
Terry Pratchett
When much is taken, something is returned.
Terry Pratchett
Look, he said to his imagination, if this is how you're going to behave, I shan't bring you again.
Terry Pratchett
The important thing about adventures, thought Mr. Bunnsy, was that they shouldn't be so long as to make you miss mealtimes.
Terry Pratchett
The universe clearly operates for the benefit of humanity. This can be readily seen from the convenient way the sun comes up in the morning, when people are ready to start the day.
Terry Pratchett
There will be justice, said Brutha. If there is no justice, there is nothing.
Terry Pratchett
The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it.
Terry Pratchett
Thou shalt not submit thy god to market forces.
Terry Pratchett
Certainly I have no faith in Jehovah, although I think it quite likely that Jesus Christ, as a preacher and a wise man, did indeed exist.
Terry Pratchett
The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret. [Fred. Free.]
Terry Pratchett
As large as worlds. As old as Time. As patient as a brick.
Terry Pratchett
It was then that Marvin got religion. Not the quiet, personal kind, that involves doing good deeds and living a better life not even the kind that involves putting on a suit and ringing people's doorbells but the kind that involves having your own TV network and getting people to send you money.
Terry Pratchett
Strength enough to build a home, Time enough to hold a child, Love enough to break a heart
Terry Pratchett
Time was something that largely happened to other people he viewed it in the same way that people on the shore viewed the sea. It was big and it was out there, and sometimes it was an invigorating thing to dip a toe into, but you couldn't live in it all the time. Besides, it always made his skin wrinkle.
Terry Pratchett
