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In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Philosopher
Profession
Paid
Words
Money
Going
Founder
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Welcome to fear, said Moist to himself. It's hope, turned inside out. You know it can't go wrong, you're sure it can't go wrong... But it might.
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She'd stopped reading the kind of women's magazine that talked about romance and knitting and started reading the kind of women's magazine that talked about orgasms, but apart from making a mental note to have one if ever the occasion presented itsel
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The thing is, 'Discworld' had been going on for a very long time, and I've written children's books as well. Usually when people have a really big series they franchise it, which I thought is a bit of a no-no, so I thought what I'd do is I'd franchise it to myself.
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I can't be talking to a tree. If I was talking to a tree I'd be mad, and I'm not mad, so trees can't talk.
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Million-to-one chances...crop up nine times out of ten.
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- I notice you didn't laugh, Mr. Black! - No, Your Majesty. We are forbidden to laugh at the things kings say, sire, because otherwise we would be at it all day.
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One of the hardest lessons in young Sam's life had been finding out that the people in charge weren't in charge. It had been finding out that governments were not, on the whole, staffed by people who had a grip, and that plans were what people made instead of thinking.
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Oh. I see. People don't want to see what can't possibly exist.
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Rincewind gave his fingers a long shocked stare, as one might regard a gun that has been hanging on the wall for decades and has suddenly gone off and perforated the cat.
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There’s no point in believing in things that exist.
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Everyone's heard of Erwin Schrodinger's famous thought experiment. You put a cat in a box with a bottle of poison, which many people would suggest is about as far as you need to go.
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Often I sort of work up and down the manuscript. I sometimes used to go ahead of myself to see what was going to happen next, to make certain it fits what was going to be happening soon.
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You can't remember the plot of the Dr Who movie because it didn't have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together. It did have a lot of flashing lights, though.
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It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could, but you were still alive.
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Sometimes I think a man could wander across the disc all his life and not see everything there is to see,' said Twoflower. 'And now it seems there are lots of other worlds as well. When I think I might die without seeing a hundredth of all there is to see it makes me feel,' he paused, then added, 'well, humble, I suppose. And very angry, of course.
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My character - and for that matter my worst habits - could only be described by someone else. You can't open a box with the crowbar inside it.
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Everywhere's been where it is ever since it was first put there. It's called geography.
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Zoology, eh? That's a big word, isn't it. No, actually it isn't, said Tiffany. Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite short.
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Magic is just a way of saying 'I don't know.'
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Strength enough to build a home, Time enough to hold a child, Love enough to break a heart
Terry Pratchett