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I don't want unnecessary violence, sergeant, said Blouse. Right you are, sir! said the sergeant. Carborundum! First man comes through that door runnin', I want him nailed to the wall! He caught the lieutenant's eye, and added: But not too hard!

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Eye
Nailed
Comes
Added
Runnin
Firsts
Unnecessary
Blouse
First
Caught
Blouses
Right
Door
Sergeant
Hard
Doors
Lieutenant
Men
Wall
Sergeants
Violence
Lieutenants

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Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving
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Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.
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I have to write because if I don't get something down then after a while I feel it's going to bang the side of my head off.
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Everything happens for a reason, except possibly football. (in Thief of Time)
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Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
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Insanity is catching.
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First draft: let it run. Turn all the knobs up to 11. Second draft: hell. Cut it down and cut it into shape. Third draft: comb its nose and blow its hair. I usually find that most of the book will have handed itself to me on that first draft.
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Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one. But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.
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When I am old I shall wear midnight.
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She'd stopped reading the kind of women's magazine that talked about romance and knitting and started reading the kind of women's magazine that talked about orgasms, but apart from making a mental note to have one if ever the occasion presented itsel
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- DON’T WORRY, IT WON’T BE FOREVER. - Good. - IT MAY SEEM LIKE FOREVER.
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Are you a philosopher? Where's your sponge?
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Generally I start writing when I have even the smallest idea of how a book is going to go, because the physical process of writing itself keeps the mind active and focused on the job at hand. Usually I write in about 5 drafts, but that simply means there are 5 definite times when I go in a linear fashion from the beginning to the end of the book.
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You call yourself some kind of goddess and you know nothing, madam, nothing. What don't die can't live. What don't live can't change. What don't change can't learn. The smallest creature that dies in the grass knows more than you.
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I have no fear of death whatsoever. I suspect that few people do, what they all fear is what might happen in the years or months before death.
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People aren't just people, they are people surrounded by circumstances.
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The phrase may you live in interesting times is the lowest in a trilogy of Chinese curses that continue may you come to the attention of those in authority and finish with may the gods give you everything you ask for. I have no idea about its authenticity.
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I used to think that I was stupid, and then I met philosophers.
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I'm up to my neck in the real world, every day. Just you try doing your VAT return with a head full of goblins.
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By the time you write the last page you have done half the book. The other half tends to get done in about five weeks I do several drafts, very, very furiously rewriting. I literally do more or less nothing else and I stick with it and go through it and I begin to hate it.
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