Quote

I don't want unnecessary violence, sergeant, said Blouse. Right you are, sir! said the sergeant. Carborundum! First man comes through that door runnin', I want him nailed to the wall! He caught the lieutenant's eye, and added: But not too hard!

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Right
Door
Sergeant
Hard
Doors
Lieutenant
Men
Wall
Sergeants
Violence
Lieutenants
Eye
Nailed
Comes
Added
Runnin
Firsts
Unnecessary
Blouse
First
Caught
Blouses

More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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Death was standing behind a lectern, poring over a map. He looked at Mort as if he wasn’t entirely there. You haven't heard of the bayof mante, have you? He said. “No, sir,” said Mort. Famous shipwreck there. “Was there?” there will be, said Death, if I can find the damn place.
Terry Pratchett
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The universe, they said, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which they identified as charm, persuasion, uncertainty and bloody-mindedness.
Terry Pratchett
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Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because - what with trolls and dwarfs and so on - speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green.
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Poetic simile was strictly limited to statements like 'his mighty steed was as fleet as the wind on a fairly calm day, say about Force Three,' and any loose talk about a beloved having a face that launched a thousand ships would have to be backed by evidence that the object of desire did indeed look like a bottle of champagne.
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Not for the first time in the history of the universe, someone for whom communication normally came as effortlessly as a dream was stuck for inspiration when faced with a few lines on the back of a card.
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You just put that sword away, sir, please, said the voice of Lance-Constable Vimes. You will not shoot me, you young idiot. That would be murder, said the captain calmly. Not where I'm aiming, sir.
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This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.
Terry Pratchett
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Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.
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No one knew where you were before you were born, but when you were born, it wasn't long before you found you'd arrived with your return ticket already punched.
Terry Pratchett
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I have no fear of death whatsoever. I suspect that few people do, what they all fear is what might happen in the years or months before death.
Terry Pratchett
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Truth! Freedom! Justice! And a hard-boiled egg!
Terry Pratchett
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Often I sort of work up and down the manuscript. I sometimes used to go ahead of myself to see what was going to happen next, to make certain it fits what was going to be happening soon.
Terry Pratchett
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It was octarine, the colour of magic. It was alive and glowing and vibrant and it was the undisputed pigment of the imagination, because wherever it appeared it was a sign that mere matter was a servant of the powers of the magical mind. It was enchantment itself. But Rincewind always thought it looked a sort of greenish-purple.
Terry Pratchett
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Welcome to fear, said Moist to himself. It's hope, turned inside out. You know it can't go wrong, you're sure it can't go wrong... But it might.
Terry Pratchett
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Mister Teatime had a truly brilliant mind, but it was brilliant like a fractured mirror, all marvellous facets and rainbows but, ultimately, also something that was broken.
Terry Pratchett
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You couldn't say 'I had orders.' You couldn't say 'It's not fair.' No one was listening. There were no Words. You owned yourself. [...] Not 'Thou Shalt Not'. Say 'I Will Not'.
Terry Pratchett
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Real children do not go hoppity skip unless they are on drugs.
Terry Pratchett
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Next comes the realist phase (After all, from a purely geometrical point of view a cat is only a tube with a door at the top.)
Terry Pratchett
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Generally I start writing when I have even the smallest idea of how a book is going to go, because the physical process of writing itself keeps the mind active and focused on the job at hand. Usually I write in about 5 drafts, but that simply means there are 5 definite times when I go in a linear fashion from the beginning to the end of the book.
Terry Pratchett
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Sometimes I feel that the world is made up of sensible people who know the plot and bloody idiots who don't.
Terry Pratchett