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Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful.
Terry Pratchett
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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Since
Witch
Rather
Legs
Less
Painful
Running
Prison
Long
Save
Would
Cutting
Trouble
Probably
More quotes by Terry Pratchett
Neither of my parents went to church, but they did everything that you needed to do to be Christian. That's something a Quaker would call an intimation of the divine.
Terry Pratchett
A police procedural novel can be even funnier if the police include Trolls and Dwarves and things like that. You start looking at the whole basis of the cop novel. You get the cop moving in a different way when you've actually set it in a fantasy city.
Terry Pratchett
I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did.
Terry Pratchett
There's no such thing as writer's block. That was invented by people in California who couldn't write.
Terry Pratchett
No matter what she did with her hair it took about three minutes for it to tangle itself up again, like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Which, no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles].
Terry Pratchett
They obeyed, as wise men do when a woman puts her foot down . . .
Terry Pratchett
I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted.
Terry Pratchett
You can't remember the plot of the Dr Who movie because it didn't have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together. It did have a lot of flashing lights, though.
Terry Pratchett
Banana daiquiris aren't knock-'em-back-by-the-flagon.
Terry Pratchett
If my father could have sat up in bed and said goodbye, I'd have pressed the button. I wouldn't have been able to see for crying, but I would have considered that a duty.
Terry Pratchett
I'm trying to remember how you tell the time by looking at the sun. -I should leave it for a while, it's too bright to see the numbers at the moment.
Terry Pratchett
Most gods find it hard to walk and think at the same time.
Terry Pratchett
Our garden was debated territory between five local cats, and we'd heard that the best way to keep other cats out of the garden was to have one yourself. A moment's rational thought here will spot the slight flaw in this reasoning.
Terry Pratchett
Once you've ruled out the impossible then whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truth. The problem lay in working out what was impossible, of course. That was the trick, all right. There was also the curious incident of the orangutan in the night-time.
Terry Pratchett
Last night there seemed to be a chance. Anything was possible last night. That was the trouble with last nights. They were always followed by this mornings.
Terry Pratchett
Right! Right! You can get there! I can get there! You're a natural at counting to two! I'm a nat'ral at counting to two! If you can count to two, you can count to anything! If I can count to two, I can count to anything! And then the world is your mollusc! My mollusc! What's a mollusc?
Terry Pratchett
He talks pretty big for a gutter wizard, he muttered. You don't understand at all, said the wizard wearily. I'm so scared of you my spine has turned to jelly, it's just that I'm suffering from an overdose of terror right now. I mean, when I've got over that then I'll have time to be decently frightened of you.
Terry Pratchett
Insofar as he'd formed any opinion of her, it was that she suffered from misplaced gentility and the mistaken belief that etiquette meant good breeding. She mistook mannerisms for manners.
Terry Pratchett
A European says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with me? An American says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with him? I make no suggestion that one side or other is right, but observation over many years leads me to believe it is true.
Terry Pratchett
OH, THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING IN THE STOCKING THAT MAKES A NOISE, said Death. OTHERWISE, WHAT IS 4:30 A.M. FOR?
Terry Pratchett
