Quote

Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
Listen
Spills
Shall
Beans
Everyone
Carefully
Shoot
Coffee
Havens
Haven
Choose
Spill

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In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods they have not forgotten this.
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Monsters are getting more uppity, too (...) I heard where this guy, he killed this monster in this lake, no problem, stuck its arm up over the door (...) and you know what? Its mum come and complained. Its actual mum come right down to the hall next day and complained. Actually complained. That's the respect you get.
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It was the living who ignored the strange and wonderful, because life was too full of the boring and mundane.
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I've got wide tastes, but I don't like jazz.
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It's an old magical principle - it's even filtered down into RPG systems - that magic, while taking a lot of effort, can be 'stored' - in a staff, for example. No doubt a wizard spends a little time each day charging up his staff, although you go blind if you do it too much, of course.
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You know how to pray, don’t you? Just put your hands together and hope.
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All was black, gloomy and awful. There was no light at the end of the tunnel - or if there was, it was an oncoming train.
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Granny sighed. You have learned something, she said, and thought it safe to insert a touch of sternness into her voice. They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.
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After you've been working fairly intensively on a novel for six months you never want to see the damn thing again.
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It's tough at the top. It's tough at the bottom. But in between you could use them for horse-shoes.
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They always gives me bath salts, complained Nobby. And bath soap and bubble bath and herbal bath lumps and tons of bath stuff and I can't think why, 'cos it's not as if I hardly ever has a bath. You'd think they'd take the hint, wouldn't you?
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Natural selection saw to it that professional heroes who at a crucial moment tended to ask themselves questions like 'What is my purpose in life?' very quickly lacked both.
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Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because - what with trolls and dwarfs and so on - speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green.
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The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that's where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight.
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People's whole lives do pass in front of their eye before they die. The process is called Living.
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Often I sort of work up and down the manuscript. I sometimes used to go ahead of myself to see what was going to happen next, to make certain it fits what was going to be happening soon.
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A police procedural novel can be even funnier if the police include Trolls and Dwarves and things like that. You start looking at the whole basis of the cop novel. You get the cop moving in a different way when you've actually set it in a fantasy city.
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Granny Weatherwax was not a good loser. From her point of view, losing was something that happened to other people.
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The Battle of Koom Valley is the only one known to history where both sides ambushed each other.
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