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I do not in fact use many puns. Certainly there are far fewer than people believe. But I suspect the ones I do occasionally use tend to hang around in people's memories for a while.

Terry Pratchett

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Terry Pratchett
Age: 66 †
Born: 1948
Born: April 28
Died: 2015
Died: March 12
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Beaconsfield
Buckinghamshire
Terence David John Terry Pratchett
Terence David John Pratchett
Sir Terry Pratchett
Sir Terence David John Pratchett
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Occasionally
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Facts
Fewer
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Tend
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Certainly
Puns
People
Ones
Pun
Memories
Suspect

More quotes by Terry Pratchett

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I would like you to teach [the orcs] civilised behaviour, said Ladyship coldly. He appeared to consider this. Yes of course, I think that would be quite possible, he said. And who would you send to teach the humans?
Terry Pratchett
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An author writes a book, and that's the book at that point. And if the author writes the book again, then somehow something has gone wrong, if you see what I mean.
Terry Pratchett
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I'm interested in mythology generally, but India has no special place in my heart - although Hindu gods seem a lot more fun.
Terry Pratchett
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Monsters are getting more uppity, too (...) I heard where this guy, he killed this monster in this lake, no problem, stuck its arm up over the door (...) and you know what? Its mum come and complained. Its actual mum come right down to the hall next day and complained. Actually complained. That's the respect you get.
Terry Pratchett
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Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.
Terry Pratchett
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The Battle of Koom Valley is the only one known to history where both sides ambushed each other.
Terry Pratchett
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Some shadows are so long, they arrive before the light.
Terry Pratchett
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She wore so much thick white makeup in order to conceal her naturally rosy complexion that if she turned around suddenly her face would probably end up on the back of her head.
Terry Pratchett
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Lessee...he'd gone off after the funeral and gotten drunk. No, not drunk, another word, ended with er. Drunker. that was it.
Terry Pratchett
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And gears, said Anathema. My bike didn't have gears. I'm sure my bike didn't have gears. Crowley leaned over to the angel. Oh lord, heal this bike, he whispered sarcastically. I'm sorry, I just got carried away, hissed Aziraphale.
Terry Pratchett
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It was possibly the most circumspect advance in the history of military maneuvers, right down at the bottom end of the scale that things like the Charge of the Light Brigade are at the top of.
Terry Pratchett
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You couldn't say 'I had orders.' You couldn't say 'It's not fair.' No one was listening. There were no Words. You owned yourself. [...] Not 'Thou Shalt Not'. Say 'I Will Not'.
Terry Pratchett
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Tʜᴇʀᴇ's ɴᴏ ᴊᴜsᴛɪᴄᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴇ. —Death
Terry Pratchett
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Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.
Terry Pratchett
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I can no longer type, so I use TalkingPoint and Dragon Dictate. It's a speech-to-text program, and there's an add-on for talking which some guys came up with.
Terry Pratchett
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Sometimes you can think that 'I've had enough of wizards!' And sometimes fantasy is not just about wizards.
Terry Pratchett
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He thought about how it might be to be, say, a fox confronted with an angry sheep. A sheep moreover, that could afford to employ wolves.
Terry Pratchett
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The fastest way to travel is to be there already.
Terry Pratchett
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People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.
Terry Pratchett
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A true beanie should have a propellor on the top.
Terry Pratchett