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The main thing going on around intimacy is that we've developed a lot of strategies so we'll be a desirable package.

Tara Brach

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Tara Brach
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: May 17
Peace Activist
Psychologist
Teacher
Going
Packages
Desirable
Intimacy
Developed
Main
Strategy
Around
Strategies
Thing
Package

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Sometimes the easiest way to appreciate ourselves is by looking through the eyes of someone who loves us.
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If I'm judging the attachment, myself, or another person, then I create separation.
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When desire for a certain person's attention becomes an I have to have kind of grasping, then identity gets organized around needing that and it becomes very solid and sticky. That causes suffering because we're not inhabiting the fullness of who we are, we're fixated and contracted on life being a certain way.
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Meditation is evolution's strategy to bring out our full potential.
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That non-attachment gives us the freedom to be exactly who we are.
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We can find true refuge within our own hearts and minds-right here, right now, in the midst of our moment-to-momen t lives.
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Managing life from our mental control towers, we have separated ourselves from our bodies and hearts.
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Underneath the stress is fear, and the biggest is our own personal fear of failure.
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If our hearts are ready for anything, we will spontaneously reach out when others are hurting. Living in an ethical way can attune us to the pain and needs of others, but when our hearts are open and awake, we care instinctively.
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Mindfulness is a pause - the space between stimulus and response: that's where choice lies.
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We, like the Mother of the World, become the compassionate presence that can hold, with tenderness, the rising and passing waves of suffering.
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Observing desire without acting on it enlarges our freedom to choose how we live.
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If there's a demand of being together in a certain way, those expectations and judgements take away from that space and create an edginess and a cramped-ness to the relationship.
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Relaxation is the doorway to both wisdom and compassion.
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Perhaps the biggest tragedy of our lives is that freedom is possible, yet we can pass our years trapped in the same old patterns...We may want to love other people without holding back, to feel authentic, to breathe in the beauty around us, to dance and sing. Yet each day we listen to inner voices that keep our life small.
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By regarding ourselves with kindness, we begin to dissolve the identity of an isolated, deficient self. This creates the grounds for including others in an unconditionally loving heart.
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We're so used to presenting ourselves and getting approval according to our achievements that it's difficult to be authentic and trust that we'll be accepted just as we are.
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Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as it is.
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Meditation helps us gain the capacity to relax, to connect with what is going on right here and right now, to connect with other people, to re-access our resourcefulness, our clarity and our ability to focus and keep an open heart.
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If you can, do a gratitude practice: Each day write down three things you're grateful for. There are different ways to do this. You can have a gratitude buddy, someone with whom, at the end of the day, you exchange messages listing these three things you are grateful for. Also, you can journal it or reflect on it silently.
Tara Brach