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If [kids] get into loving relationships, they're afraid they'll be found wanting, won't have the looks or body shape our culture deems worthy. Many of us feel we're falling short and if we start feeling close to another person, that we'll be found out and rejected.

Tara Brach

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Tara Brach
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: May 17
Peace Activist
Psychologist
Teacher
Looks
Fall
Loving
Many
Feelings
Shapes
Deems
Feel
Found
Short
Rejected
Feels
Another
Close
Wanting
Kids
Afraid
Falling
Body
Feeling
Shape
Persons
Start
Relationships
Person
Culture
Worthy

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As long as we are alive, we feel fear. It is an intrinsic part of our makeup, as natural as a bitter cold winter day or the winds that rip branches off trees. If we resist it or push it aside, we miss a powerful opportunity for awakening.
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Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha.
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But this revolutionary act of treating ourselves tenderly can begin to undo the aversive messages of a lifetime.
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If there's a demand of being together in a certain way, those expectations and judgements take away from that space and create an edginess and a cramped-ness to the relationship.
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Our greatest longing is to be intimate.
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I'd known that I had the capacity to love, that I enjoyed seeing other people be happy, that I had a real awe and wonder about the beauty of this world.
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Extend an act of kindness each day. No one has to know. It can be a smile, reassuring words, a small favor - without expecting something in return.
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True refuge is that which allows us to be at home, at peace, to discover true happiness. The only thing that can give us true refuge is the awareness and love that is intrinsic to who we are. Ultimately, its our own true nature.
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Mindfulness is a pause - the space between stimulus and response: that's where choice lies.
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Presence is not some exotic state that we need to search for or manufacture. In the simplest terms, it is the felt sense of wakefulness, openness, and tenderness that arises when we are fully here and now with our experience.
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We can find true refuge within our own hearts and minds-right here, right now, in the midst of our moment-to-momen t lives.
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Observing desire without acting on it enlarges our freedom to choose how we live.
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It is through realizing loving presence as our very essence, through being that presence, that we discover true freedom.
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Pain is not wrong. Reacting to pain as wrong initiates the trance of unworthiness. The moment we believe something is wrong, our world shrinks and we lose ourselves in the effort to combat the pain.
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As I noticed feelings and thoughts appear and disappear, it became increasingly clear that they were just coming and going on their own. . . . There was no sense of a self owning them.
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I think of desire as the essence that brings forth the whole universe.
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When we put down ideas of what life should be like, we are free to wholeheartedly say yes to our life as it is.
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Where desire ends up causing suffering is when it fixates.
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If we're not open to losing, we're not open to loving.
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Allowing another to be as they are is more what I think of as space. The space to express yourself and know that you're going to be accepted. That's more where I go than with the actual physical logistics of how much time you have together and how much time you have apart.
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