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We want to be in open, loving communion with each other and our greatest fear is intimacy. That it won't work and we'll be rejected.

Tara Brach

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Tara Brach
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: May 17
Peace Activist
Psychologist
Teacher
Work
Communion
Rejected
Intimacy
Loving
Greatest
Open
Fear

More quotes by Tara Brach

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Meditation helps us to get out of our thoughts about the future and really be in the present moment.
Tara Brach
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If I can forgive the attachment in myself and open to the vulnerability that's underneath it, then rather than fixating on another person to satisfy my need, I'm actually going right to where the needs come from and able to bring a real healing.
Tara Brach
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My first book, 'Radical Acceptance', grew out of the suffering of feeling personally deficient and unworthy. Because most of us are so quick to turn against ourselves, the teachings and practices of radical acceptance continue as a strong current in 'True Refuge': nurturing a forgiving, understanding heart is a basic step on the path.
Tara Brach
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This is for anyone reading this who wants to explore it. Recognize the thought, Afraid of loving, then gently put your hand on your heart to send a message of kindness.
Tara Brach
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But this revolutionary act of treating ourselves tenderly can begin to undo the aversive messages of a lifetime.
Tara Brach
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If I'm judging the attachment, myself, or another person, then I create separation.
Tara Brach
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If you let someone know you appreciate him or her, especially when you're going to disagree, it gets that person's defenses down.
Tara Brach
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If attachment then carries forward in a way that's not healthy, we need to let it be there without making it wrong and bring as compassionate and honest attention to it as possible. Honor that this is part of being human, but it's important to know when it's getting in the way.
Tara Brach
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I speak a lot about what I call the trance of unworthiness which is really epidemic in our culture, this sense of I'm not enough, or something's wrong with me. Most of us have some level of it because our culture has all these standards (handed down through our families) of what it means to be okay.
Tara Brach
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Allowing another to be as they are is more what I think of as space. The space to express yourself and know that you're going to be accepted. That's more where I go than with the actual physical logistics of how much time you have together and how much time you have apart.
Tara Brach
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Most of us grew up with a very damaging story that something is wrong with us. Gradually - or as in my case, suddenly - we become resolved not to believe this anymore. It takes a dedicated practice to follow up on that resolution, because the conditioning is very strong to keep generating self-demeaning stories.
Tara Brach
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The intimacy that arises in listening and speaking truth is only possible if we can open to the vulnerability of our own hearts. Breathing in, contacting the life that is right here, is our first step. Once we have held ourselves with kindness, we can touch others in a vital and healing way.
Tara Brach
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Unless we're completely awake, have a degree of that. We tense against love and hold on in a way that doesn't let it flow. When that's really strong, the key piece to freeing our hearts is self-compassion.
Tara Brach
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Telling each other the truth and being who we are, and having space for the other person's vulnerability in being who they are, allows us to move in a kind of dance together that's very fluid and graceful.
Tara Brach
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It is through realizing loving presence as our very essence, through being that presence, that we discover true freedom.
Tara Brach
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If we're not open to losing, we're not open to loving.
Tara Brach
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Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as it is.
Tara Brach
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Happiness lies not in finding what is missing, but in finding what is present.
Tara Brach
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We can find true refuge within our own hearts and minds-right here, right now, in the midst of our moment-to-momen t lives.
Tara Brach
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There are some things we can't choose, but in being present we can choose how we want to relate to them
Tara Brach