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If you let someone know you appreciate him or her, especially when you're going to disagree, it gets that person's defenses down.

Tara Brach

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Tara Brach
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: May 17
Peace Activist
Psychologist
Teacher
Persons
Person
Defenses
Going
Disagree
Defense
Appreciate
Especially
Gets
Someone

More quotes by Tara Brach

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When desire for a certain person's attention becomes an I have to have kind of grasping, then identity gets organized around needing that and it becomes very solid and sticky. That causes suffering because we're not inhabiting the fullness of who we are, we're fixated and contracted on life being a certain way.
Tara Brach
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There's healthy attachment, like with a mother and child. It's biologically part of our survival.
Tara Brach
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Underneath the stress is fear, and the biggest is our own personal fear of failure.
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There is something wonderfully bold and liberating about saying yes to our entire imperfect and messy life.
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The renowned seventh-century Zen master Seng-tsan taught that true freedom is being without anxiety about imperfection.
Tara Brach
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We wait for things to be different in order to feel okay with life. As long as we keep attaching our happiness to the external events of our lives, which are ever changing, we’ll always be left waiting for it.
Tara Brach
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Meditation helps us to get out of our thoughts about the future and really be in the present moment.
Tara Brach
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That non-attachment gives us the freedom to be exactly who we are.
Tara Brach
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There are some things we can't choose, but in being present we can choose how we want to relate to them
Tara Brach
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Stopping the endless pursuit of getting somewhere else is the perhaps most beautiful offering we can make to our spirit.
Tara Brach
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True refuge is that which allows us to be at home, at peace, to discover true happiness. The only thing that can give us true refuge is the awareness and love that is intrinsic to who we are. Ultimately, its our own true nature.
Tara Brach
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Perhaps the biggest tragedy of our lives is that freedom is possible, yet we can pass our years trapped in the same old patterns...We may want to love other people without holding back, to feel authentic, to breathe in the beauty around us, to dance and sing. Yet each day we listen to inner voices that keep our life small.
Tara Brach
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I registered the dukkha of self-aversion with such clarity that I knew there was no freedom unless I could love this life without holding back. This didn't mean I was going to ignore my flaws and stop seeking to improve what I could. But in the deepest way, I was not going to fixate on the conclusion that something was wrong with me.
Tara Brach
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Paying attention is the most basic and profound expression of love.
Tara Brach
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There are stories we take on from our culture, and there are stories based on our own personal history. Some of those stories lock us in limiting beliefs and lead to suffering, and there are others that can move us toward freedom.
Tara Brach
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Everything we love goes. So to be able to grieve that loss, to let go, to have that grief be absolutely full, is the only way to have our heart be full and open.
Tara Brach
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We are waiting for the next moment to contain what this moment does not.
Tara Brach
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Meditation helps us gain the capacity to relax, to connect with what is going on right here and right now, to connect with other people, to re-access our resourcefulness, our clarity and our ability to focus and keep an open heart.
Tara Brach
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Unless we're completely awake, have a degree of that. We tense against love and hold on in a way that doesn't let it flow. When that's really strong, the key piece to freeing our hearts is self-compassion.
Tara Brach
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As long as we are alive, we feel fear. It is an intrinsic part of our makeup, as natural as a bitter cold winter day or the winds that rip branches off trees. If we resist it or push it aside, we miss a powerful opportunity for awakening.
Tara Brach