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If you let someone know you appreciate him or her, especially when you're going to disagree, it gets that person's defenses down.
Tara Brach
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Tara Brach
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: May 17
Peace Activist
Psychologist
Teacher
Defense
Appreciate
Especially
Gets
Someone
Persons
Person
Defenses
Going
Disagree
More quotes by Tara Brach
Making a U-turn from our thoughts to our feelings re-connects us to our own inner experience and creates the grounds for connecting with others in a more authentic way. It's a movement from head to heart.
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Happiness lies not in finding what is missing, but in finding what is present.
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Our greatest longing is to be intimate.
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The renowned seventh-century Zen master Seng-tsan taught that true freedom is being without anxiety about imperfection.
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But this revolutionary act of treating ourselves tenderly can begin to undo the aversive messages of a lifetime.
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I would say both Western psychology and Eastern paths would recognize that we get caught up in feeling like a separate self and an unworthy self.
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We, like the Mother of the World, become the compassionate presence that can hold, with tenderness, the rising and passing waves of suffering.
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Relaxation is the doorway to both wisdom and compassion.
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The trance of unworthiness keeps the sweetness of belonging out of reach. The path to the sweetness of belonging, is acceptance - acceptance of ourselves and acceptance of others without judgment.
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Just come into stillness. Have your intention be to relax with the breath. That will begin to set in motion a habit that will start to train the mind.
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True refuge is that which allows us to be at home, at peace, to discover true happiness. The only thing that can give us true refuge is the awareness and love that is intrinsic to who we are. Ultimately, its our own true nature.
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That non-attachment gives us the freedom to be exactly who we are.
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Extend an act of kindness each day. No one has to know. It can be a smile, reassuring words, a small favor - without expecting something in return.
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If I can forgive the attachment in myself and open to the vulnerability that's underneath it, then rather than fixating on another person to satisfy my need, I'm actually going right to where the needs come from and able to bring a real healing.
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There's healthy attachment, like with a mother and child. It's biologically part of our survival.
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Along with judging myself harshly, I'd also always seen the truth of goodness in me.
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If there's a demand of being together in a certain way, those expectations and judgements take away from that space and create an edginess and a cramped-ness to the relationship.
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Pain is not wrong. Reacting to pain as wrong initiates the trance of unworthiness. The moment we believe something is wrong, our world shrinks and we lose ourselves in the effort to combat the pain.
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Presence is not some exotic state that we need to search for or manufacture. In the simplest terms, it is the felt sense of wakefulness, openness, and tenderness that arises when we are fully here and now with our experience.
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The muscles used to make a smile actually send a biochemical message to our nervous system that it is safe to relax the flight of freeze response.
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